Ask HN: Non-Alcoholics Who Quit Drinking, Why Did You Decide, and What Happened? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: Non-Alcoholics Who Quit Drinking, Why Did You Decide, and What Happened?

I've noticed drinking just isn't much fun anymore. It used to make my happy and now I am more likely to become sad or angry. Even with just one drink.

I also used to need it to get on stage to play music(again just 1 or maybe 2), and I no longer do, and I've found I play a lot better stone sober.

Does anyone else relate or unrelate?

Can someone out there tell me about how you continue to enjoy drinking in moderation as you get older?

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Try drinking when you're in a good mood. Drinking when you're down just makes you more down. It's a little 'hack' I learned over the years. Also choose a drink that agrees with you physiologically. My body can't process wine or spirits very well, and I can only drink beer, so experiment with different types of booze and settle for something you like. Not encouraging you to over-drink either. Stick to two nights of the week if you must.

What helped me was to start thinking of drinking primarily as a social enhancer or lubricant, instead of a way to retreat into self-medication. Social drinking is how alcohol is fun for me - the other ways don't really add value to my life. A habit of self-medication with alcohol feels more problematic and perhaps indicative of a psychological dependency, whereas social drinking is perfectly normal and enjoyable. You may not agree with this logic, and there are undoubtedly other dimensions to alcohol that I am ignoring, but this is basically how I think about my own relationship with alcohol and it works for me - do what works for you.

Changing my thinking in this way allowed me to start to cleave to an informal rule of "no drinking alone", a lifestyle tweak that struck me as simple and achievable. That helped me to cut down overall. Ultimately it's about deciding what role you want alcohol to have in your life, fixing that in place, and then working backwards from the desired state.

I've always had a very high tolerance for alcohol. At some point I just got sick of drinking because I had to drink so much to catch a buzz. On a practical level that meant every time I wanted to go out and drink I would probably have to spend at least $50 and probably more like $100. It just wasn't worth it to me anymore.

I drink maybe once or twice a month. While I'm a social drinker, I don't really drink more than 1 or 2 in social events. I don't drink until I'm drunk and usually cut myself off as soon as buzz kicks in.

I do enjoy drinking in social environment, especially as I got older. Maybe there is a better way, but having a drink in social environment seem to open people up more. I feel there is a bit more closeness in those envs.

I stopped because:

1) I don't miss it or crave it. There are great alternatives, especially craft non-alcoholic beer (in the US). I have found that not-from-concentrate pomegranate juice is a good wine alternative too, because it has a similar mouthfeel and you have to sip it.

2) It shortens my life (makes my health worse, forces me to sleep longer, etc.)

3) I can have fun socializing without it. I don't have any social anxiety or any other issues that alcohol helps with.

I just never really liked the taste of alcohol, so I figured why bother? Alcohol isn't good for me and if I don't actually enjoy it, there's not much point. If the waiter brings a complimentary glass of champagne in a restaurant or something I might have a sip or two just to try it, but that's about it.

Aside from anything else, drinking is very time-consuming. You have a finite amount of time on the planet, you will regret burning it by only working, sleeping or being in a stupor making yourself ill.

> you will regret burning it by only working, sleeping or being in a stupor making yourself ill

I think you can say that you will regret it, but not that everyone would. For some people, alcohol is a huge social booster and the benefits are worth the cost.

Also, it doesn't make most people feel ill if they drink it in moderation and/or drink enough water.

Drinking definitely used to be more consistently enjoyable than it is now, for me. One or two with some good friends around can still be nice.

As with everything, I think it's a mix of a lot of things, and we don't know which factors predominate. Partly it's because I'm getting older. Partly it's because I simply don't know of anything good that comes from drinking. I also have a meditation practice, and I notice that drinking has a negative effect on it.

One strategy for continuing to get social value out of extremely moderate drinking is: _go fancy_. Learn to make fancy drinks. Care about flavors and ingredients and all that. Drink less. Spend more time enjoying less alcohol.

One thing that concerns me a little about your description of your experience is that it sounds as if you might be self-regulating, and drinking even a little bit causes the regulation system to fail, at which point suffering arises in the form of sadness or anger. This is not a terrible situation, but as you age, the firewall will inevitably degrade, and you may find yourself unable to keep the bad stuff at bay.

But if there's nothing bad behind the firewall, it will be OK when the firewall degrades. You can decrease the amount of stuff in your mind that the world needs to be protected from through something like meditation practice. Here's how I do it: https://library.dhammasukha.org/uploads/1/2/8/6/12865490/the...

I got regularly sick (cold) after drinking a bit more especially in colder seasons, so I stopped drinking. My health is much better now. I drink alcohol free beer now, almost every day. Yesterday I had a tiny glass of wine (less than 100ml). That was an extreme exception which I do only once in a few months.

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