In my opinion, (2) is a feature, not a bug. You never know what kind of connection your users have. Ngrok forces you to consider the "bad connection" factor early on in development, which can avoid many pitfalls that occur when network software assumes that latency is zero and bandwidth is unlimited.

I have switched over to using Tailscale. But that only works if the devices are mine before the friction of someone else’s device being set up happens

The basic paid plan is pretty cheap and lets you use your_subdomain_name.ngrok.com as the address.