It seems pretty clear, and reasonably engaging. Plain, at worst. Are you sure you're not just a fan of flowery language? Also, what cultural revolution is the grade level of this writing related to? That's a pretty cryptic implication.

I assume you mean:

> He suggested that perhaps the male was responding to female preference—wink-wink, nudge-nudge—but hadn’t bothered to actually examine the female.

I think "wink-wink nudge-nudge" is an unfair characterisation of someone's motivation to dissect duck genitals. It's a statement about evolutionary pressure, not a bawdy joke.