> That's precisely the time when you need to dig deep and let _reason_ take the lead
I would say when self-sacrifice, thinking of others first is what's called for, that's actually empathy leading, at its most high-functioning.
Empathy is taking the lead, but it's somehow a deeper kind, qualitatively distinct from day to day sympathy and personality. Sometimes a person you thought was rather heartless day to day, turns out to care for their buddies in such a moment, and you don't forget their actions.
Of course it is empathy in concert with reason. Reason, intuition, skill, knowledge - and that measured mind - are all required in difficult situations, but without empathy would often lead to self-preservation mode.
> deep down they are actually masters of the empathy they've carefully hidden.
I like this. Yeah, that's what I mean.