These kinds of negative thoughts are never helpful. We're all learning constantly and had to be the newbie at one time. Push them out of your mind.

I will let you in on one superpower that I was lucky to learn early... read the manuals, yes the manuals to your most important tools and practice. All of them, front to back. Very few people are willing to do this for whatever reason. Result being even if you don't know how to do something exactly you'll be able to look it up in seconds and knock it out in minutes.

Using this strategy, at one job I went from nobody to "god-like" (haha) guru-in-demand simply from reading the manual front-to-back for the Unix Shell we used... in the span of about two months. The resulting scripts I wrote automated about 50% of our team's work to single commands, which was greatly appreciated.