I'm a privacy lawyer that has worked on cookie consents for a number of commercial websites. Everything you said here is all too true. The real legal answer in a lot of cases is "Do what everyone else is doing. Don't be an outlier. Use industry tools because if there's a problem with an industry tool, they'll go after the tool and not its users."

The comments about cookies not being part of GDPR are grossly wrong. One of the early discussions in the privacy law community was how to handle the collision of the new consent requirements under GDPR with the fact that the ePrivacy Directive requires consent for cookies. Prior to GDPR, a large number of EU jurisdictions allowed for implicit consent through a variety of actions, like scrolling a page, or non-actions, like seeing a banner and not clicking "no". GDPR redefined consent and that's why cookie banners pop up.