> Seems like you just discovered doing micromanagement of people's time, and that you love practicing it.

This has zero to do micromanagement. Either your new hire onboards with dedicated staff in dedicated sessions, or that task falls upon the new arrival's team members. The need is always there, and forcing each team to allocate one or two members to do the job that a onboarding meeting does is hard or impossible to justify.

Keep in mind that the blog author talked about SSO and installing software.