Rich Like Me: How Assortative Mating Is Driving Income Inequality
quillette.com
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The first is one that is difficult to have any kind of meaningful or deep conversation about anything on. They are so addicted to their phone and taking selfies and fluff pop culture that there is no foundation to even build a relationship around.
The second is the person who you can have an interesting conversation with on many topics but once they find out you're a software engineer or have another job that they assume is well paying (regardless of how you dress or live) all they become interested in is finding how to take money out of your wallet. Literally trying to push buttons as if you're an ATM machine.
When I date people of similar education backgrounds similar work experience and socioeconomic levels it's totally different. It's a totally new set of problems but it actually gives the hope of someone to have a long-term relationship with. Because they have their own money and they don't need constant affirmations from their glowing rectangle.
One other thing that I have discovered from traveling the world is that it's not like this in all cultures. Especially having traveled around Southeast Asia there are many women of all ages that are seeking to better their lifestyle and it's a natural assumption that when you were a tourist there you're probably better off than they are financially. Unlike the people in my neighborhood though they are willing to engage in an actual relationship in order to better their financial status. They understand the concept of either marrying into it or being a long-term partner in a relationship to get that financial advantage.
In my area, there are almost no professionals of any field, let alone software engineering. You've got doctors and lawyers, but that's about it. So language barriers aside (most speak English and Spanish here but you do run into a fair amount of Spanish-only), the biggest hurdle I run into relating to people - not even dating, just general day-to-day stuff - is education and IQ. Most are just very, very poorly educated at best. And yeah there's a lot of addiction to vapid pop-culture nonsense as well, which presents an immediate barrier to me because...ugh, no thanks. But ultimately, most people just have a lackluster ability to grasp even the most basic of things (I had to explain who the Romans were once, I kid you not).
Not saying they're all stupid or anything, far from it. I think it's a socioeconomic problem, caused by generational poverty being a barrier to higher education. There's a university here (UTEP), but it's way out of reach for easily 80-90% of people born and raised locally. Those who do go there leave the area almost immediately (and I can't blame them, I will too, and soon).
Damn shame, too. There are some really nice, big-hearted folks in this town and they deserve a fair shake.
[edit: added last sentence]
On the contrary, the past few decades of research has shown that IQ is (1) hereditary, 0.5-0.8 correlation, depending on the study and (2) increasingly important to navigate a modern, complex society.
For example, this paper is a pretty good summary:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S01602...
Here is a good popular science article on the same subject: https://quillette.com/2018/08/25/the-dangers-of-ignoring-cog...
The problem with such setups is that they are often rife with abuse in some form or another. The person who controls the money controls the group/harem. Isn't this how the world worked before women gained voting rights and ability to work in the labor force. Seems the best way to have an equal partner relationship is to make similar amounts of money with similar amounts of education.