> I know this comment makes me sound like the stereotypical "boomer". But this malaise cannot be normal.
It does, but it's incidental.[1] The sentiment is perennial. As cultural values and norms change[2], older folk tend not to adopt new values and norms. The result is a perception that their norms and values are fading away from society and a perception that there are no norms and values to replace them[3].
The idea of places as a essential part of people's lives is also fascinating. The very concept of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd places are a product of a particular time and place, namely the couple hundred years of urban[4] workforce organized by capitalism. Consider how foreign the idea of places would be to a cottage industry worker in the 1500s whose 1st and 2nd places are one and the same and whose 3rd place had an entirely different social texture to ours today. They would be entirely justified at having a sense of loss at idea of moving to the city and organizing their life around separate physical places.
While I don't expect that 58 year olds[5] to adopt new ideas of place, I do expect them to act with the maturity their years have given them. We all must understand that while the conceptualizations cultivated in our lifetimes, while appearing timeless, are themselves a product of a time and place. And for those who look to others for wisdom, we must understand how their time and place shape their conceptions before adopting ourselves.
Just as there existed a way of social organization prior to the 1st/2nd/3rd places inhabited by urban workforce, there now exists a multitude of digital places just as real to internet natives as the bowling alley, barbershop, cafe, pub, and beer garden. We can expect that the march of social organization will continue progress beyond into spaces that have yet to be created and the same anomie we have today will adapt. In the future, only old people will congregate on Twitch.
Briefly on the concept of expectations, these have changed too. There is an ongoing massive shift in how social labels are attributed, from 3rd-party ascription to 1st-party ascription. There are inklings of change in how interpersonal conflict is handled that is starting to formulate in the minds of youth. Finally, cooperation amongst students rather competition is now a dominate paradigm[6]. All of these come with social expectations that would be foreign to a person 40 years older.
1. And fairly benign :)
2. And when don't they?
3. Why would an older person adopt a younger generation's perspective? They don't have the life experiences that shaped these values.
4. "Without such places, the urban area fails to nourish the kinds of relationships and the diversity of human contact that are the essence of the city." - The Great Good Place (1989) Oldenburg
5. The youngest "Boomers".
6. I've heard this attributed to the rise of high-stakes testing environments, but it could also be any number of other factors.