Your not the only lonely person around!
(If I were to be honest, my plain question is “what is wrong with enjoying human company just because human company is enjoyable?”. It’s like saying it’s manipulative to eat to resolve hunger to me, as if every meal should be some Michelin star experience or starvation.)
I have a similar perspective: And what I've learned is that the core is compassion (and love): Compassion for yourself first, and compassion for others. Learn to be open with yourself about how you actually feel, not just the safe emotions but most of all the ones you hide from - compassion is for the sins, not the easy happy stuff. And have compassion for them and for yourself; it's a hard life, and loneliness can be the worst. Again, compassion isn't for the saints or perfect, it's for the serious faults we all carry, the humanity; I suspect the forgiveness of some religions is tied to that need. First be our own companions. How can we connect authentically, genuinely to others if we aren't authentic with ourselves?
Looking for others to relieve our loneliness, as you note, is just objectifying them (I don't mean to be absolute; you don't need to be an ascetic). Learn how to supply that love you need from the inside and not only will you be much less lonely, having your closest companion always with you, inseperable by the events of the outside world, but also that love and compassion will grow in you and be something you can share; it transforms how you feel about, perceive, and connect to others.
I think I'm missing something here. Isn't this what friends are for? I call up (nonromantic) friends and be like, "I'm kind of lonely, wanna hang out?" That's not 'using people'. I don't feel used if a friend wants to hang in person or in Discord because they're feeling lonely.
Consider reading _The Elephant In The Brain_, by Kevin Simler and Robin Hanson; its central thesis is that almost everything we do (including charity, art, lifting, laughing, hundreds of things) is ultimately about signalling things to other people, usually to make ourselves look good or desirable in some way. In that sense, everything we do is manipulative. Embrace it! There really are no "pure" motives.