One way to combat this is to use a build system with a notion of visibility, https://bazel.build/concepts/visibility
I think you might be over-extrapolating from your experience, but it's true going off the well-trodden road leads to surprises. And not that many smaller companies know the ins and outs of monorepos.
In practice, it doesn't solve the problem because most people default to making everything public. Nominally this avoids duplicating logic, but may result in more stuff being pulled in than was really necessary. These days, when NodeJS developers discuss how bad things have gotten with dependency management, I just laugh.
If we have multiple teams you can’t really refactor other teams code and sometimes you need to do breaking changes thus I imagine that some versioning must exist.