One of the smartest things I ever did was to just sort of quietly quit putting so much effort into pleasing all the people I used to depend on to reinforce my self-esteem or sense-of-self or whatever-it-is. I kind of died, and was reborn as myself. It's way better. But the self I am is much smaller than the one I wished I was or thought I could be or whatever... the one I conceived of. (There is no limit to what we can conceive of, so it's not super impressive to dream up a big version of yourself. Just be who you are and forgive yourself for not being the outsized caricature.)

The emptiness in your life will never go away. The error lies in thinking there ought to be more. More more more, it ought to ring a bell, and be recognized as a form of greed. Trying to fill the hole with friends is just as bad as filling it with drugs or booze or work. Just let it be empty. What's the big deal? It's empty, so what? Don't dwell on it, because that's the same thing, except you're trying to fill the emptiness up with an obsession about the emptiness itself. That isn't going to work, the emptiness will just grow to accommodate itself and eventually swallow you too. Get back to work. It's the one thing everyone has to do to survive, even if you're rich and it's just the work of showering once in a while. But don't try to fill the emptiness with work either. Just be like an animal (the animal you actually are). Get a dog if it helps you remember.