Comment by loudtieblahblah | Hacker News Reader

Comment by loudtieblahblah | Hacker News Reader

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loudtieblahblah

People should stop being concerned with their labels and where they fit and more concerned about their character, actions in how they care for themselves and treat others, and their accomplishments

Obsession with identity is narcissistic by its very nature. It was one thing when kids were worried about being goth or skaters, ravers or metal heads, yuppies or hip hoppers. Eventually you grew out of that shit

But now that political, gender, racial, sexual identity is ALL IMPORTANT people spend endless amounts of time on it. Adults do. Endless. My HR department sends me invites to speeches on this garbage at least 2x a month.

The only thing identity obsession is good for is an empty life with lots of time advocating for political shit that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, and some increased time with your therapist.

Your labels don't matter. None of them. No one cares except those staring at themselves in the mirror.. Oh I'm sorry it's 2022. In their own tiktok vids.

The parent is free to ignore their identity (or so the comment implies). People who are LGBTQ+, black, female (in many situations), immigrants, etc. are not - those identities are imposed on them constantly by the people and society around them. They can't walk down the street, go to work, turn on a movie or the news, or even watch porn without people defining them by stereotypes. Their lives are often defined by it - their safety, their career options, their wealth, who will marry them, etc. The people who actually experience it keep telling you that - they can't ignore it, it's oppressive, brutal - why don't you believe them? Who are you to know better?

The obsession with identity is not in its subject, but in the majority observers.

> Obsession with identity is narcissistic by its very nature.

Ironically, actual narcisissm isn't focused on oneself as much as focus on everyone else - everyone else in the family, the organization, etc. has to be exactly what the narcissist wants them to be, to make the world exactly what the narcissist needs to feel safe.

That is similar to the identity situation we are discussing: The narcisissm is in the observer, who insists that the subjects should behave and act as the observer wishes.

Yes. The author Edmund White writes [1],

"... As a true American I do believe in identity politics, I believe that the personal can be political and I believe that, for better or for worse, my sexual identity is crucial to who I am. ... But I hold this view only because I feel that to grow up in a religious society that oppresses and stigmatizes homosexuals creates a gay identity, and that one can only liberate oneself by affirming that identity, by transforming what was despised into what is valued.

I'm not an essentialist ... I certainly don't think that this essence must be declared or avowed. I do, however, believe that a definition that has been imposed on the individual must be defended and transcended.

[1] Lost in the Funhouse by Edmund White, in TLS May 19 2006

Amen

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