I hear what you say. I do think Elden Ring is different from other From Software games. It gives the player a lot of ways to mitigate difficulty. Giving the player more flexibility in what kind of challenge to be presented with.
It's also a bit hard to explain the part that this excels at. I'm trying to find the right words to explain it without too much hyperbole. I honestly think that the scale of this game, would have been broken up into at least 3 games, by many other companies. I'm 70 hours in, and I've roughly found as many "graces", which are spread out throughout the world. So, I'm still finding myself in new areas, new environments, in much awe of the world. And, I'm enjoying all of it.
Now, I have played other souls games. But, perhaps this is the experience that you might relate to. Those games where much, much, more "ok, this is the linear path. Beat hard boss 1.". Repeat for boss 2, etc. Elden Ring is to a much larger extent: "explore the world". Take it in, and wonder why it is the way it is. Most things actually make sense, and it tells a subtle story I'm so grateful for. From Software hasn't followed the regular trend of "we worked on this, and refuse to let the player miss it". It has huge areas that the game almost wants you to miss, because it genuinely rewards curiosity. It is the best open world I've played in, and I'm just... it's truly a masterpiece.