In analyzing my personal motivations and looking at "common sense" knowledge and psych research on the topic, I've come to the conclusion that we gain a lot of motivational energy from others. We live in worlds of stories and narratives, and those narratives are strengthened when mirrored and shared by others. If someone notices or sees my work or praises me for my work, it is a strong signal to my brain that it's on the right track.

It was embarrassing for me to admit this, but I've found it to be a running thread throughout my educational and work career. I suspect it dominates my brain more because of early childhood experiences more, but I'm unsure because it seems taboo to admit to craving acceptance or acknowledgement.

Once I began admitting it to myself, it became a big part of what drives my growth. I now know the impact that accountability has on my success. I'd rather feel slightly embarrassed for wanting people to see my toy projects than limit my personal trajectory out of fear. I am mindful of depending on others for validation, and I try to strike a healthy balance between wanting to impress others and wanting to impress myself.

Apropos to the topic at hand, I'm using Twitter and Observable to "learn in public". I don't expect or intend to become an influencer. I just know that I can leverage the dopamine hits of upvotes and likes and retweets for my personal growth. I'm a social animal that needs to have his efforts directed through shared structures of meaning. So far, I've leveraged that in multiple areas to great effect.