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Comment by AlexanderTheGr8 | Hacker News Reader

Does regret on deathbed matter that much? We live 30000 days NOT on our deathbed, and 1 day on our deathbed. Even if that 1 day is horrible, as long as the 30000 days are good, it should be fine, right? Just because it's the last day doesn't make it more important than the other days.

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My theory is that these regrets eat you from the inside anyways. So the deathbed event is not a hallucination of sorts, but it happens because the dying lets go of their everyday worries and other such things, so their real motivations and inclinations crop up. And if they haven't acted on them, to a level that would be satisfying to them, then it leads to regret. As if they haven't lived their lives true to themselves. Which begs the question of the point of living too, of course. To which I have no clear answer.

Similar lines of thinking have made me curious about nihilism

Life is what you make of it. If you go around thinking nothing fucking matters because we're all dead anyway, then it won't, and your life choices will affect what the rest of your brief existence on Earth will be like.

Definitely a good topic to research and ponder about.

This is exactly my take on this (and I am family-oriented, religious guy). Majority of people will be “dying” between few weeks up to few monts, while they will be living 70-80 years. Shaping your 70 years of life so that you don’t feel (other people’s) regrets during your final few months seems stupid to me.

Haha. Assuming this isn't sarcastic—I would assume that (1) sentiments on the last day are probably similar to many of the days before it, and (2) you should weight the wisdom of those days higher than days early in life, because they have more experience.

If that was sarcastic... you got me.

It was not sarcastic. I meant it. I believe that every day is equally valuable.

Life is not an optimization problem, where we maximize happiness. I prefer to just let life flow in its natural waves, sometimes correcting course to achieve my goals.

Even if we wanted to maximise happiness in life, that's still very different from minimising ostensible regrets when dying.

as Morrissey said, paraphrasing Sinatra:

Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too many to mention…..

I think ones goal should be to live an optimal life, integrating good over time.

Reviewing the wisdom of those who have done more than us (lived long and are facing death) seems smart.

While I don't want to live my life in fear of regret, I often use a mental model for decisions - "if this is wrong how much would I regret it," to weigh the choices.

I personally don't want to be on my deathbed and say I wish after 35 I had spent more time with my loved ones - I want to be able to say that I spent a good amount of time with my loved ones and enjoyed it.

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