in that vein, is there a list somewhere of American eateries which pay non-poverty wages and therefore adopt tipping practices which are less morally reprehensible to us foreigners? I'd happily go out of my way when in the US to avoid this particular cultural norm.
There are really 3 relevant parties here: the restaurant owner, the restaurant staff, and the customer.
The owners have lobbied for and gotten exceptions to most minimum wage laws, to the effect that they can pay their staff under minimum wage, with tipping making up the difference.
Consequently, if staff receives no tips: the restaurant is required to pay them minimum wage (US$7.25 / hr), or applicable local minimum wage if higher [0].
If staff receives tips, the owner is allowed to pay them a much lower wage (don't remember offhand), with tips making up the difference to meet or exceed minimum wage.
Some of this may be changing due to worker shortages, but restaurant margins are always pretty thin.
Tl;dr - restaurant workers make over minimum wage only if tipped
[0] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Minimum_wage_by_state_b...
> Tl;dr - restaurant workers make over minimum wage only if tipped
Your tl;dr doesn't match. According to you workers make minimum wage irrespective of whether you tip (unless the owner breaks the law), and all your tips do is directly offset owner costs.