Many moons ago I had a job with a private office. Brass nameplate on the door. I asked the intern who sat at a desk outside in the hall to kick me if I ever started acting all-pretentious-like. She agreed with great enthusiasm, but thankfully I kept a solid head about me.

I had the most ridiculously comfy couch in my office. Blue, threadbare, worn-in. Every time anyone sat down in it I warned them that they were going to fall asleep if they stayed there too long. Without fail, I'd hear wood sawing after a manner of minutes. Vendors, colleagues, the CIO, the CEO, my wife dropping by to visit, that couch was insidious.