Not saying it is better than the other options presented (and definitely not recommending it as an investment) but BCH does work quite well for transacting.
A (traditional) bank does all 3 for me on a regular basis.
Compare that with using something like UST (Terra), which took only ~1 minute with a fixed fee of ~1 UST for a similar transaction. I also have total control over my money.
> Now I'm at the mercy of the bank regarding what I can do with that money.
This is going off-topic, but you are with crypto as well. Unless every merchant you use supports your cryptocurrency, you're going to have to convert it back to fiat.
> There are a ton of alternatives that cost fractions of a penny in transaction fees.
Transferwise takes much more %.