- I know I'm not technically skilled enough to make it to the higher levels of IC
- I know I lack the people skills & charisma to make it to the higher levels of management
I'm aware I can improve in both and I accept that, to some extent, it's a laziness and confidence issue. But to some people it seems to come naturally and it's hard not to assume I'm in the majority that aren't exceptional.
a) Been there a long time;
b) Are very knowledgeable about that company and its tech, clients, etc. (see a);
Of course, they're skilled technically too, but not in a "I could never dream of being that smart" kind of way.
The trick (and of course there is a trick) is to find a narrow enough niche that you would enjoy working in, where you can get paid well, but isn't so narrow that you have very limited choices regarding who to work for.
Businesses are inherently social organizations, and at the higher levels, all require the typical bullshit that you though you left behind in high school: Schmoozing, smooth talking, brown nosing, political savvy, charm, confidence, cutthroat opportunism, those telltale "Ivy League mannerisms" that you see in every VP at your company. I learned this too late in my career, and it's really hard to pivot from "grumpy old man" once you become one!
The whole point of the separate individual ladder was to give an alternate career path to management. What a lie that's turned out to be.
It can, and some companies are fine with that. The challenge is that even with companies that find that arrangement acceptable, many of them aren't willing to pay more for the relevant experience. They want you to be in some kind of higher leverage role. So either you take less pay, get pushed into more responsibility, or you get lucky with a really good company (and that company manages to stay in business without a major management/culture shift).
I'm not convinced this is big deal as you think. Just care about the people you work with and care about doing a good job, and you're better than lots of people succeeding in this role.
Never let a job description hold you back from applying. You could bring other things to the company, you can acquire knowledge that you currently lack.
Apply, discuss and see how it goes.
> I'm in the majority that aren't exceptional.
That's fine, right? Quite simply most people aren't exceptional, so it is important to learn to be okay with it. Most likely it can benefit you for the rest of your life :)