Ask HN: How Do You Cope? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How Do You Cope?

5 pointspinephoneguy5 comments

I'm critically demotivated and the only time I get any work done is when I'm drinking in the cafe across the street from my house. Everything at work is just so incredibly tedious it's so hard to actually sit down and get anything done (so much Jira and deployment automation bullshit, I probably spend 2 weeks a year doing anything I would consider actually productive.) I don't want anything materially (I have a yacht etc etc) and although I would be much less comfortable I have enough in my 401k that I could live without working. The only reason I stay employed is to afford the things that impress women (cars, large house etc.) I don't even use half my house, it's probably been months since I've been in half the rooms.

I don't want to look for a new job either. That's so incredibly painful especially since I didn't finish my degree (I did all the course work, but I was 20 hours short on community service and between COVID and the semester boundaries the administration decided that I needed to retake a bunch of liberal arts classes which had been rearranged and I hated the first time I took and passed them.)

I feel like if I don't change something I'm eventually going to get fired for under performing which is something I'd like to avoid. I'm wondering if you guys have any suggestions/coping mechanisms other than just drinking to get through it all.

This could seem pithy, but as a middle-aged software developer with a comfortable existence, I recognize a lot of where you're coming from.

I think that it's hard to reduce work hours too - it's how a lot of us in industry define ourselves; commits, features, bugfixes and projects are how we look back and measure success.

But reducing work hours and taking time back for yourself is part of the solution, I reckon.

I took a week off work a little while ago and went for a 300+ mile multi-day cycle ride (stopping in at restaurants, bars and hotels along the way -- nothing fancy, but all different experiences and conversations).

I don't know if it's realistic to spend more than a month doing that -- or whether I'd begin to feel guilty because not everyone can take the opportunity to -- but it genuinely improved my sense of self and health, for a while at least.

(another way to look at it: it's your time, ultimately: and you get to decide how to spend it)

You have a yacht sure, but when did you last actually use it?

Your job is killing you, quit. Take time off, this is your only life don't spend it festering in the cafe across the road from your house. Go travel the world, go snort cocaine in Mexico and bang hookers.

Sure I could go all out for a while but what do I do after that? I'd imagine partying and not working for a year or two would cause my mental health to further deteriorate and to have that while being broke would be a catastrophe.

ask for a 4-day work week.

thats one less tedious day per week, but its really amazing how big a difference it makes.

not that i have it regularly yet.

the next thing you do is...

have some real time and energy to recharge.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com