Comment by codegeek | Hacker News Reader

Comment by codegeek | Hacker News Reader

Please take this as constructive criticism because I am trying to help. But I will be brutally honest. You are 21. You don't know anything yet. You honestly sound like someone who doesn't want to put the hard work/grind yet but wants "meaningful and purposeful" handed to you. Life doesn't work that way.

You need to work hard first. Whether that is through full time employment or your own business, doesn't matter. Forget investors. No one will give you money. You are nobody right now.

Full time job for even 2-3 years is not a bad thing. I run my own business and wouldn't trade it for anything but I worked in the corporate world for 10 years and gained a lot of valuable experience. Not saying you should do the same path but you need to start somewhere.

"My biggest fear is mediocracy"

Working at a full time job doesn't make you mediocre. Not everyone is a Zuckerberg. In fact, it will teach you real world skills, you will meet smarter co-workers and people in the real world, learn lot of skills like conflict resolution, negotiating etc.

"biggest wish is to contribute to something meaningful and useful to others"

Yea, the problem is that you have no experience in anything so you wouldn't know what is meaningful and useful to others. Get a job. Get some experience. Work with a few people for at least 2-3 years and then figure out a path for yourself.

"Otherwise my existence makes no sense"

Lol at this but I understand that at 21, this seems normal. Your existence makes plenty of sense. But go grind first. Get a job. Learn a trade. Whatever. These thoughts will be meaningless once you have more maturity.

OP listen to this.

And go read So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport. You'll see stories of people in situations very similar to you.

Source: I rebeled in my early 20s for a more meaningful life before I had enough career capital to spend and learned a lot of lessons the hard way. My saving grace was that I already had a degree and was demonstrably good (i.e. employable) at a couple of things.

He is just reflecting the frustration he has with his parents. I’m sad to say this OP, but that bad relationship with your parents will be lifelong. You are being self destructive because they really suck. You’re stuck, and I have no solution for you other than to stay in school (ah, but that’s what they want, I hear you, and that’s them winning, I get it), and be successful (ah, but that’s what they want).

I don’t like letting people win that have no business winning. But that’s what it is. I don’t know what to tell you, the whole thing is fucking crazy.

So, I will just show you Dennis Rodman’a hall of fame speech. Not only did he do all the right (and wrong things), but at the most ceremonious event he elegantly invited his mother, and still told her ‘you are not a part of this success’:

https://youtu.be/uwbI15Ucl8s

It’s a long fight, but I think that’s the only thing that’s gonna work.

Unless you know something we don't, there is precious little in the OP's post that hints at a damagingly bad relationship with his parents.

They are upset because he dropped out of -- college, I guess? -- but it's a bit of a leap to say that being upset your kid dropped out of higher education and doesn't seem to have direction is evidence that they "really suck".

If you can’t tell, then you can’t tell. It’s not for everyone to get it. If you want a hint, read the whole thing. The whole thing pisses off who? Not me, I’m not his parents. Not you, you ain’t his parents. Not his boss, they ain’t his parents.

And then finally read the last sentence or two, ‘my parents are very upset’.

If you can’t tell, then you can’t tell.

Or you could be projecting your own experience or that of someone close to you onto what he wrote, is all I'm saying.

There are many universal experiences, pattern matching is sort of a software developers forte. My comments went into the negative and then brought back to a positive, so I’m not alone. The OP has not refuted anything either.

To bring a counterpoint, I've worked very hard for 6-8 years. (5 years studying but also working on the side at programmer during the time) That surely simplified some things and now another 8 years later it's very easy for me to find a reasonably well paid job. On the other hand I came to realize I'll always have to work on mediocre things unless I continue to put in a sustained effort into it. (Work place politics included because everybody wants more of a limited resource, be it money or interesting tasks) Luckily I studied mostly out of interest but the effort put in was surely out of pressure

Going back in time I could have just continued to pursue that side gig, go for other freelancing jobs and do my own (hopefully paying) projects on top. Quite likely I might go for this myself soon again

> biggest wish is to contribute to something meaningful and useful to others

My sense of self worth and we’ll being improved substantially when I stopped chasing the dream of making some big contribution to the world. It’s not that I have given up on doing meaningful things, but that I learned that I was more interested in the spotlight of it.

I’m much happier making projects that I like, even if no one else likes them.

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