Ask HN: Have OCD, suffering from extreme procrastination, please help?

Procrastination is the result of an emotional response to an activity.

You are cruising along in your new project, making good progress, then you get stuck on a difficult problem. You understand the solution and it's tedious. You stop and take a break. You try and think of a better way that isn't tedious, but you never do. You keep coming back to the tedious solution.

The break never ends, and now you are procrastinating. You know the solution but don't want to do it. Too tedious. The project slowly loses your interest and before you know it, the new shiny has popped up and you have a new project.

If you don't want this to happen then you need 'suck it up' and do the tedious work. Get over your emotions. It's always less tedious than you imagine it.

First of all, this is not the place for health advice. None of us here are qualified in Psychiatry and Psychology. Please seek medical attention. I don't know which South Asian country you live in but you must seek help for your condition. Maybe therapy and medication would be necessary. Please take care of yourself and seek professional help. Take care.

The number one source of relief for many people in mental health is communities of people who are also suffering.

This “go find professional help” dismissal is unhelpful. Obviously he’s aware because he mentions it. If you can’t help, don’t say anything since this is idiotic advice.

This is at best unhelpful, at worst idiotic advice considering the context:

>> they just ask some questions give some meds and take the money without taking things seriously, sometimes does not even take ten minutes which was my experience. Even in the public hospital they pay less attention to me. There are good doctors who are caring but they are really rare

> None of us here are qualified in Psychiatry and Psychology.

Unless you have a list of all the posters, and their qualifications, you can not make that claim

> Please seek medical attention.

Which is what was already done as explained by the poster.

> Please take care of yourself and seek professional help

The only person who has a lot of skin in the game and perfectly aligned interest when it comes to your health is... yourself.

You can hope to find good and caring professionals, and it may even be a good heuristic to try that as a first line approach, but nobody has the personal and financial incentives to invest in your health as much as yourself - except possibly your spouse and parents.

> Unless you have a list of all the posters, and their qualifications, you can not make that claim

No qualified psychiatrist or psychologist in their right mind would give medical advice to some anonymous person over the internet so this point is moot.

Of course, they would not do that publicly, but who knows if some of them might hide behind throwaways and might gently try to nudge the poster towards what they think could work better?

If you haven't already tried a consistent exercise program, I highly suggest it. I've dealt with a few of these issues throughout my life, OCD, A.D.D., procrastinating, and for awhile, severe depression. I have been on a daily exercise routine for the last 9 months, and it has helped a great deal. My physical health has dramatically affected my mental health. I have always lacked drive, as most things came easy to me. And it's very hard for me to stick to a regular exercise routine. But it's been worth it. My overall health, physical, mental, and emotional, have greatly improved. My friends, family, and coworkers have all commented on it. While I still have struggles, it's become much easier to deal with them.

That sucks, man. I relate. My graveyard of unfinished projects is... expansive. I haven't "figured it out" yet, but here are some things I do to improve my chances of success and ameliorate the personal damage of failure.

0. Remind myself that work is a cruel mistress and a crummy source of self-worth. Find some hopeful, bedrock truth to fall back on when life doesn't seem worth living. (God, in my case. YMMV.)

1. Focus on the good things happening in my life and in the world. Along those lines, I cut out all news and any social media or entertainment that leaves me feeling worse afterward. Even HN can be a source of emotional drain -- some days my brain translates every headline into "that person makes $10K per week without even trying; what's your problem?"

2. Find a partner to work with closely on a day-to-day basis both to share the load and to build momentum.

3. Iterate (and fail!) faster to establish a fast feedback loop. Even weekly is too long. For my most successful projects (not saying much), I found a way to "ship" my project at least daily, even if "shipping" is just showing it to a friend. One time I modded a video game for a 4-year-old, the two of us taking 5-minute turns at the computer.

HN doesn't appear to have a DM feature but reply if you want to connect on Discord or something.

Check out the Pomodoro technique for focus. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomodoro_Technique

But also be aware that with respect to evolution this kind of sedentary work is completely unnatural. Also assuming most work from your country (as most of this industry has become) will be remote, it might be hard to ground it in your life, which is OK. The problem here is that we don't live in a world with basic human rights guaranteed.

I don’t have actionable advice but want to say to those saying this is a wrong forum that - maybe OP is needing a community to vent or simply share feelings, away of reaching out.

I wish I could help you friend but I suffer from similar struggles, only to a lesser extent. I'm currently in therapy but honestly it helps very little. Understanding myself is not helping in any way towards change. Also tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, worked better up to a point but tapered off, no lasting change.

I hope you find a way to break out of that rut, I'm thankfully in a position that procrastination doesn't affect my life that badly (I still do my job just fine, it's other areas that are suffering).

Try deep ketosis via ketogenic diet and try high fat carnivore diet. These things are super hyped up right now and seem like scams but they touch upon very real and very powerful metabolic pathways and mechanisms. They have helped many people with severe mental illness including myself.

Hey there! Very happy to see someone here with the same recommendation, hopefully that will boost the credibility of this recommendation to OP and others.

I also struggle with similar issues. There's plenty of techniques and thoughts to be had. One of the is to manage your expectations: do they correspond to reality? Are you expecting something that just isn't possible? This can cause unecessary friction and worsen the situation. It's good to practice self-acceptance and forgiveness, and find your own way of dealing with things.

The other, is to develop some habits. Maybe commit to doing a certain task progress for at least a certain time, say 1 hour (or even just 15min) every day. Embrace imperfection! (or, more poetically, "Embrace Jank" :) )https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26481837

Give space for your ideas to evolve. Projects evolve with work. You don't even need to publish them! Simply move them forward. Take a holistic view on how you are improving the world, and improving your own life.

Make sure you have "baseline" issues in control, but keep in mind no one really has them in perfect check: https://lorienpsych.com/2021/06/05/depression/ (This page has great mostly evidence-based advice on lifestyle interventions)

Here's my take on ethics: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26481837

Good luck, and Hack the planet! :)

This might sound weird but give it a try.

Find a small area of bare earth, not too dry but not muddy. Clear it carefully of rocks and twigs and such. Then stand on it barefoot, or sit on a chair placed so that your bare feet rest on it. Take several deep breaths and feel into the earth with the soles of your feet. Take about ten minutes.

This should help you calm your mind and ground yourself.

I don't have much specific advice though I have ADHD the other branch of the mental health family to OCD. It sounds corny but a psych doing self-help advice but from a perspective of explaining the science behind current and cutting edge psych has helped me greatly

Dr. K a Harvard psych on gaming addiction and online communities has a youtube channel explaining how coaching. This isn't a replacement for therapy however his explanations of the science and walking through these ideas as a coach on how to apply these yourself. From my exp has very healthy approaches for just feeling less judgmental towards yourself, so you can get out of your own way and just get things done

Of course a psych will be better however this in my opinion is like fun workshops for myself to understand myself and others. So this might be a great starting point before putting money into a psych/therapist, like starting calory counting and walking more before getting a personal trainer.

For procrastination, you might try not sitting down hardly at all.

If your default is being seated, change the default to standing or being in motion instead.

Then only sit down for one particular reason at a time, most deliberately.

Whether one seated session naturally allows the eventual feeling of completion, or OTOH far from completion, as soon as that session is drawing to a close get ready and go back to the default for a bit of time.

Standing up, moving around, accomplishing something that doesn't require sitting (housework & gardening are good in moderation), all can help give you better perspective before you commit to your next seated session. Whether you are picking up where you left off or leaving that alone and going back down for something completely different.

At the other end, it's not just procrastination, but productivity.

Things like this really helped when I had 5 desks with various combinations of ambitions & obligations.

For concrete, useful strategies on dealing with procrastination, there's no better resource I can recommend than the following video by Dr Tim Pychyl: [1]

It ostensibly focuses on procrastination among grad students, but the analysis and strategies discussed there are applicable to all sorts of procrastination.

I've watched a lot of videos and read a lot of books on procrastination, and this is by far the best.

[1] - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhFQA998WiA

His iProcrastinate podcast is very useful, as well as his book, “Solving the Procrastination Puzzle”.

Agreed. Well worth watching.

Irene Lyon has lots of quality advice on her channel. She is a nervous system and trauma specialist.

Julie Yau has a "trauma workbook" with many exercises you can do on your own. She is also a very compassionate woman with deep knowledge about the nervous system, though her book is practical, not theory.

If you really want more theory about nervous system to "trust" the above advice, look into "Nurturing Resilience" by Kathy kain

All the best to you.

That sucks - sorry to hear you are struggling. I’ve also been there most of my life - and it got much worse over time. But if it helps, here’s what I’ve done to get a handle on it — I wish I had found this out sooner.

First and foremost is to find a talk therapist who will work with you long term on helping you develop a mental mapping of your emotions to your physiology. When you are feeling an emotion, there is a corresponding physiological change throughout your body. The key here is that when you find yourself obsessing or avoiding or focusing on other people’s problems instead of your own, you will begin to notice the physical correlations in your own body. You will learn to use breathing techniques to notice your mental states. Emotions like despair, vulnerability, resentment, shame, guilt, etc all have physical correlations. As you begin to map the language of emotions to your physiology, you will begin to find ways to short-circuit these patterns through physical regulation and asserting emotional boundaries with your family.

The most important aspect of this… you will discover that regulating your body and your environment is the same as regulating your mind. The harder you push your body physically, the less you will feel mentally adrift or obsessing over external information to contain your emotions. Your attentional willpower will improve in parallel to your physical confidence and you will choose to care for your self.

Some other practical basic tips to self-regulate

Find some activity that keeps you centered on your own body - hard exercise, yoga or physical games are best — gardening and hiking are good too. AVOID all activities where you are constantly cognitively systematizing information. As an Information Age worker, you MUST take regular breaks for 5-10 min each hour - especially when you are in the hyperfocused productive zone. Go for a walk or do some pushups or yoga. You also cannot sacrifice sleep to the obsessive mind — if you can’t sleep or don’t have the will to sleep go do some physical activity.

Info Hygiene is key

Delete most non-utility apps on your phone and turn on time limits/screen time. Unplug from real-time digital media in your life - especially interactive media. Email and forums are fine - but not as realtime activities - check them at 2-3 fixed times each. Reading and writing are fine - but set limits.

Hope this helps. Good luck

(P.S - search for Andrew Huberman Willpower on YT)

I’m sorry you’re feeling so unwell. I believe you can get better. I have similar problems and have extensive experience with medication, talk therapy, exercise etc. You can talk to me (email/Zoom etc), I’ll try to help. My email address is in my profile. Take care!

I suffer from OCD too, and take 40mg of Cipralex daily for past 4 years. I am also suffering from depression. I suffer pretty much similar to your described situations. There is no one method that has worked, and hence there is no concrete advise from me. But I am there for you if you want to talk during your bad days. You can contact me via https://www.linkedin.com/in/jehuamanna

I think I understand where you are coming from because I get the same way. I get excited about a project at first, but then I think "what's the point?" and put it off.

My advice when you are feeling that way is to tell yourself "I will work on this for just 10 or 15 minutes and then if I feel like it, I will stop." That way you aren't under any pressure.

I find this works because it's harder to get motivated when you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to spend hours working on something. Instead just commit to a little bit - if you enjoy it, then keep going. If not, no big deal - at least you did did a little bit. Maybe tomorrow you'll want to do more.

Is the procrastination affecting your job performance or only personal projects? If it's personal projects, then I would stop putting so much pressure on yourself to accomplish them. You don't have to be productive all the time.

I recommend a very high fat ketogenic diet, and a few supplements especially magnesium and inositol. These are highly proven both scientifically and anectodally. There is much more to discuss about this, and I'd be glad to assist you by mail (see profile), but in short these help calm down an overexcitable brain (ketogenic diets have been used for epilepsy since the 19th century). This will also lower inflammation, with this start exercising, go outside, sleep well.

Then you can work with other modalities if needed, but fix the hardware first.

If you cannot get professional help: work to get in touch with your emotions. What are you afraid of? What exactly makes you anxious? Are these feelings matching reality? Also: everybody fails sometimes, everybody has problems, perfection does not exist. This sounds super cliche but was tremendous help for me. I considered myself super rational and suppressed my feelings for most of my life. That means living fantasy, not knowing yourself and without truth about yourself you cannot change

You might find it helpful to go through books written by therapists such as The Perfectionism Workbook and The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism to understand the causes of perfectionism and the beliefs and fears behind it.

This book isn't specifically about OCD but Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts could be helpful as well. It talks about how to observe and accept thoughts, even if they're unwanted, repetitive or disturbing, instead of trying to suppress or fight against them.

This doesn’t address very much of your situation, but I have found the Five Second Rule by Mel Robbins to be very effective in my own life when dealing with procrastination.

I'm not clear from your description whether you are your own boss. If so you could try working for someone else and see if that helps with procrastination.

I've got fairly bad ADHD. Do you drink coffee? I'm able to focus a lot better when I keep my caffeine intake low. For years I thought it was helping me be productive but it was really just causing me to get overwhelmed. It sounds like cutting caffeine might not be enough in your situation but its worth trying if you havnt.

Sounds like ADHD. See if you can get diagonosed. I knew I had it. Anything slightly boring was physically painful for me. But I waited until 40 to get diagnosed.

First time on my life I was able to stay on task for sometime that wasn’t super interesting.

I can’t tolerate the meds, but I do a lot better since I lost the mental pain of being bored.

Keep "failing" as a goal until you succeed. Eg. Goal "get a glass of water" take the first step towards wherever the water is = fail = success take the second step = fail = success....keep going until you finally get your glass of water = success....this method works for me.

Looks like bipolar. Quetiapine definitely helps for sleep - and you need a mood stablizer as well - like Divalproex. That will give you steady mood to do things property and stick with projects and such. Please ask your doctor to prescribe it for you.

Really? You’re going to diagnose someone over the Internet and tell them medicine to take? Dangerous.

It’s not fair to suggest medication but given OP’s own admitted diagnoses and his mother’s Parkinson’s he almost certainly has poor dopaminergic functioning.

they said to talk to their dr

They also mentioned moral issues. Do you really feel comfortable suggesting medication to someone who just may be stuck in the wrong career?

you should not seek advice from the Internet for psychological issues. seeking advice from a know-it-all group like this site can be dangerous.

You might just have to accept not being cut out for a desk job or find a company explicitly neurodivergent equal opportunity.

Does the workforce there not offer things like disability for issues exactly like this?

Read Johann Hari.

Stop seeing salesmen of the drug cartel. Their job is to get you addicted to various drugs for life. That's what they are trained to do.

See a psychologist... or even an alternative therapist. Placebo works and it works specially great for psychosomatic conditions.

This Johann Hari? o.0

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johann_Hari

Sorry about your mother's condition. Check out Jordan Peterson's early lectures on YouTube.

Also lift weights and eat healthy

Funny I have had very similar experiences. The negative consequences for the work not being done soon compound the procrastination. I can’t say this is a solved problem for me, and I’m not a healthcare professional. But some tricks I’ve learned; Get proper rest (6+), in a quiet (silent, pitch black) environment. Modafinil or better Provigil/Artvigil with green tea, in the morning only. 6500K LED lamps. Change your wallpaper to light/pale green, uniform color. But the most effective way to get out of this situation is to reset your mind. The simplest way is to get drunk. In California we have edibles, and that’s effective as well. At the extreme you could use shrooms if you can get your hands on them, but be careful to dose exactly based on bodyweight. If you take a serious (not micro) dose while supervised with a friend, it will result the next day in being ‘mixed up’ and when you recover, the procrastination issue will be easier to overcome. If not select a new substance and try again. Hope this is helpful, good luck