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Comment by GenZRiseUp | Hacker News Reader

That is a really beautifully designed website.

I was addicted to pornography. The way I knew was by trying to stop for at least a week, if I could accomplish that, then it wouldn't be a problem. I couldn't make it past one day.

I thought, maybe access was the issue - so I deleted my browsers, and within a day was reinstalling them just to watch porn.

I was watching during classes, and I would go late to events just so I could finish watching a particular scene, or explore a pornstar's catalogue.

It was only after confiding in somebody that I realised how deep I had sunk (watching and paying for snuff and gore), and it was extremely tough to come out of that.

I still get the urge when opening a browser to muscle memory type in a site, and it's constant vigilance and self-discipline that has held me at bay, but the pull has never went away.

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>The way I knew was by trying to stop for at least a week, if I could accomplish that, then it wouldn't be a problem.

Not being able to stop for a week shows you are an addict. But being able to stop for week doesn't really show you aren't one. Most addicts do quit for weeks or even months at a time.

Well yeah, but if you're not sure, you can try it and introspect how you feel; if you're restless or start tweaking you're likely addicted to whatever you're trying to quit, as mentioned by the parent comment.

Addicts that quit for X amount of time and relapse KNOW they're addicted. They know that they need to be conscious at all times, and that even after decades they may relapse if they're not careful. This is where organizations like AA come in, offering support, coaching, goals and positive feedback for dealing with - in that case - alcoholism.

> Not being able to stop for a week shows you are an addict. But being able to stop for week doesn't really show you aren't one. Most addicts do quit for weeks or even months at a time.

Correct. "Not doing $X anymore" doesn't mean you aren't an addict. "Being able to turn on/turn off doing $X" means you aren't an addict. If you haven't had a drink in years, but having a single one means that you now cannot do without the bottle, you're still an addict.

I've always said that there's no such thing as an ex-smoker; they're smokers who haven't smoked in a long time.

> I've always said that there's no such thing as an ex-smoker; they're smokers who haven't smoked in a long time.

At least to their lungs they‘re not smokers anymore :)

And by that logic what will happen if they smoke one ? By your logic such people will have to stop before a certain threshold. What's the threshold ?

"There's no such thing as an ex-Marine", so are Marines addicts?

If X implies Y, it is not necessary for Y to imply X.

"There is no such thing as an ex-FOO" does not imply that it is true for any value of FOO..

> I've always said that there's no such thing as an ex-smoker; they're smokers who haven't smoked in a long time.

This kind of absolutism may end up discouraging present-day smokers from trying to quit at all. It's also not necessarily true. Some people do go from being smokers to hating the sight/smell/thought of smoking.

I agree, but it's also worth noting sometimes the opposite can be true and it's more helpful for some people who don't want to smoke to drop the "ex-smoker" "quit" and similar language and start saying things like "I am not smoking at the moment" instead. It takes the pressure off and makes it seem like less of an all-or-nothing thing. And also means if you do mess up and have a cigarette, you've not failed, you've just had a cigarette and now you can go back to not smoking.

Not posting this to be contrarian, just on the off chance there's anyone reading this whose trying to quit and is looking for a new angle to try. If you can't quit, don't quit. Just don't smoke. This is what finally worked for me.

I used to say shit like "I'm not smoking at the moment" or "I quit every time I put one out"

I turned phrases like that into a contrarian joke to justify my addiction.

Smoked from the time I was 13 until I was 29. That was 11 years ago.

I was tempted to smoke for the dirt 2-3 years after I quit. But I've grown to despise it and being around it.

Interesting how close our timelines match up, minus the 11 years. Smoked from 14 to just before my 30th birthday, which was 6 months ago.

If I smell it in passing, it smells pretty disgusting. But if I spend the weekend at my parents (both heavy smokers), I quickly fall in love with the smell again and yearn for “one last cig”.

A big problem for me is that tobacco smoke very much smells like home - it’s what home smelled like growing up. And nothing takes you back like a strong, familiar scent.

> If you haven't had a drink in years, but having a single one means that you now cannot do without the bottle, you're still an addict.

Note that this belief is completely at odds with that of modern psychatric medicine, and is one of the core beliefs of most 12 step programs, which are ineffective pseudoscientific systems.

I should try to not randomly browse the web for one week. I'm not sure whether I'm able. Ups. It is so easy to jus type Ctrl-T and then news.ycom TAB.

Sometimes I catch myself when I unconsciously type the address of a web site.

I think I've been addicted to the internet for 20 years.

- OK, enough reddit for now, let's do something productive like work - closes tab - starting a compiler run - ctrl-t types old.reddit.com - my man, what are you doing there? bangs head

Much more often than I'd like to admit

The ol’ burst-of-dopamine addiction…

For me, a well-established habit can be different than addiction, but they're definitely related. What I look for is a) whether I'm using X to avoid discomfort, and b) whether using X helps create or sustain that discomfort.

As an example, I play casual computer games to take breaks. So popping open my current favorite can be a habit. But I've had friends addicted to WoW, such that they were spending enough time in it that it was making their lives worse. The more they played, the worse their personal problems got, causing them to seek more relief through WoW.

You are right. There is a spectrum between both. Since December, it has been harder than usual (nothing special, just too much stuff going on) and I use the net as an escape, but I think that I'm in this gray area where one must be alert. It is not addiction yet, but I should watch myself with a rather severe look and see if I can change the trend.

that's a lot of letters, my firefox gives it to me with just "ne"-enter.

I don't even need the e...

you can hit shift-delete to delete the omnibar entry to make it that much harder

Massive courage to talk about your past addiction online. I'm glad you got out of it.

Were there withdrawal symptoms in your case? If so, what were they?

Years ago I read that withdrawal symptoms are an essential part of the definition of addiction, but probably "addiction" has become a somewhat broader concept since then. The article says you "might" also experience withdrawal symptoms, and I don't think I've heard of people addicted to gambling, for example, suffering from any specific withdrawal symptoms, though even quite mildly addictive drugs like coffee can have recognisable withdrawal symptoms.

EDIT: For the avoidance of doubt, I am not claiming that addiction requires withdrawal symptoms.

There’s a Reddit support group for recovering porn addicts, the stories over there are pretty interesting. One of the withdrawal symptoms mentioned is a total lack of interest in sex that they call “flatlining.”https://nofap.com/porn-addiction/

There's a fine line between support group and cult...

I couldn't sleep for the first few days because although my body was tired, my mind was expecting to watch some sort of carnal entertainment.

I also felt an uncomfortable rush of blood in my left temple everytime I wanted to indulge again, but that could be purely psychological, I don't know.

For these kind of problems, tech is not really a solution. So better talk to a registered psychologist or psychiatrist.

But on the tech side, for android users, 'Open TimeLimit' is a useful app. It's like an advanced app locker, with timers and stuff. It's FOSS and on Fdroid:

https://codeberg.org/timelimit/opentimelimit-android

https://f-droid.org/app/io.timelimit.android.open

Edit: Make sure to disable the app when you go out etc. Because it might cause obstacles during emergencies. Depends on the way you set it up of course.

Same. I have heard it (addiction) described as an inability to 'decide not to'.

My most effective strategy has been to simply distract myself. Always listening to music, reading, anything to keep my mind from wandering.

I used the method of X to quit smoking. I mean I smoked a lot less to begin with but it reached upto one or two everyday with disturbing consistency. I haven't smoked in around 3 years now.

I wonder if the dopamine doses associated with the activity is what causes the addiction on the area.

My ancedotal evidence says yes. I've never had a porn problem (I'm a homosexual female, I'm not sure there's enough material for me to sustain a porn problem...), but I've had other psychological addictions and one interesting thing I've noticed is that if I take modafinil when I'm trying to break one that my cravings/desires are much less.

I think it's dopamine (as opposed to the other nts modafinil is theorized to work on) because a changing short half-life SNRI dose does nothing (so it's not serotonin or norepinephrine making the change), caffeine does nothing (so not adenosine), and histamine modifiers also do nothing.

That's interesting because that's the opposite effect to me - I used to smoke (still do rarely but try to avoid it) and when I took modafinil I often had a strong urge to chain-smoke, just like after a few drinks.

Nicotine?

God, modafinil + other stimulants is a bad time for me.

Oh believe me, there is definitely enough material for you to sustain a porn problem. OnlyFans alone can get you paying specific people to create content for you. It's infinite.

Makes sense. It's certainly a blessing not having enough material. My impression is this kind of addiction can get particularly depressing if you can look at yourself from the outside...

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