Pretending to like? It's not like these were shallow conversations at a party... He lived with them and dated them for years while acting as an agent of the state. That is pretty unfathomable violation...
"He wasn't the man I thought he was" is the sort of thing that could be said after practically every breakup of a relationship. Some times more than others, but trying to put some sort of line past which it is rape is not feasible - not, that is, if you are in favour of the rule of law, rather than people being sent to prison based on personal moral judgements of juries or judges about exactly how disgusted they are about someone's behaviour.
They clearly violated their civil rights repeatedly over a period of years. They were already found liable for damages and paid out millions of dollars. Illicit activities & sex happen in undercover work... It's much more disturbing that the organizations sanctioned running operations that included having a 3 year plus romantic relationships, fathering children and proposing marriage... with non-violent activists... rape is not the right charge and shouldn't be shoehorned but that is such a gross violation and misuse of powers that should face criminal punishment.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UK_undercover_policing_relatio...