Excuse my presumption, but it seems that you arrive at the logical conclusion "it might be possible to simulate intelligence with a sufficiently big cheat sheet" - and then you disregard it because you're uncomfortable with it. We already know this is the case for specialized environments, so the "only" question left is how far does this generalize.

In my opinion, more ridiculous claims have already been proven by science (for example Quantum Mechanics).

Also you have to make a distinction between the optimizing process (evolution/training neural nets) and the intelligent agent itself (human/machine intelligence).