You protest that no you didn't? Oh, you did. You may not know what the felony is, but I assure you that in this country there is no way you got through an entire week without being felonious, probably multiple times a day.
Sixteenth century platitudes about breaking the law and paying the price need to be updated for a 21st century reality in which a careful reading of the law reveals that there is very nearly a law against everything, and the only thing holding society together is that we don't pay the price.
What would be good is more succinct Penal Codes, and to make it much harder to add laws in response to isolated events.
A careful reading of the law will reveal that there is not, in fact, very nearly a law against everything.
Please take your trolling back to Reddit where it belongs.