But then you would have to eat... Dominos. I get that its not the same everywhere, but in the pizza belt, I couldn't imagine going there. Luckily my local place has a good website though.
Then again, from my experience it was hard to find true Italian pizza in the US.
Fun anecdote: When I was in NYC I walked into a corner pizza place in Little Italy that sold these giant slices to-go. I asked them if they also sold Tiramisu. To my utter surprise the 3 or 4 Italian Americans present didn't even know what Tiramisu is. That day I learned it was actually just invented around 1980 in Italy. Today it's one of the absolute favorite deserts in Germany and every Italian restaurant serves it and even many non-italian have it.
A useful keyword to look out for if you want something (similar to) Italian pizza in the US is a restaurant that's marketed as "wood fired" or "brick oven". This will pretty much always get you a Napoletana-style pizza, regardless of your current US regional specialties.
My local place has a website that doesn't quite meet the standard I'd hope for. But it does work, and if you order through it, they'll get your order right. It's a lot less hassle than ordering over the phone.
https://i.imgur.com/GOvnHcv.png
Sorry coasties, Chicago's the new pizza capital
Otherwise in ten years we'll be reading an article on The Atlantic that leads with a CEO behind bars, jumps to a young kid learning about the world in his uncle's Pizzeria, then to a shady security team searching for the whistleblower by cross referencing HN posts against employee catering habits, and finally a retired FBI agent that steps in to provide protection.
So yeah, pizzasnob, please don't start talking about your love for dobermans.