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On your "bar/ bat mitzvah" correction: The liberal, american jews I know don't talk this way.

And for example here's a quote from Seinfeld:

"Elaine: I need someone to go with me to Mr. Lippman's son's Bar Mitzvah."

Thank you!

So a bar/bat mitzvah is a title or a state of being, and not a party/ritual?

Yes, exactly. It happens to you whether you are aware of it or not, although it is typically celebrated. Think of it like becoming 18 in the US - one day you wake up and you're old enough to buy cigarettes and are generally responsible for your actions. That's what bar/bat mitzvah are.

I had thought that a mitzvah was a religious duty or deed.