Despite all that, I'm pretty happy! Of course I'd leave for more money if the opportunity arose, but I think I would also be eyeing up a boomerang back to AWS to go up a level. I wish I knew why my experience has been so vastly different from the people I was on a team with, but the nature of our work meant we mostly work solo or in coordination with people on other teams, rather than grouping up with each other. As a consequence I didn't really see what was causing them to be so dissatisfied.
This is rank speculation on my part:
Some people are lucky (or oblivious) enough to have passive aggressive BS just roll off their back without causing stress. This isn't an adaptive trait in any context where passive aggression is a possible precursor to overt aggression, but you may also have other traits (for example physical size and gender) that make it less likely for you to experience that sort of escalation.
There are many possible variations on this (physical appearance, personality, social class, a supervisor's biases), but you'd have to share a lot more about yourself to narrow it down. Suffice it to say that you may just not be treated the same as your colleagues, or you may not experience similar treatment in similar ways.
Me and the people who have left interact with very different crowds of external stakeholders, so perhaps they were just unlucky to end up with some who are difficult to tolerate.
We are a team of white EU/US men, so I don't think discrimination is a factor in our different experiences. I do however think we are treated differently in some contexts; I am ~20 years younger than most of my team and can definitely see a tendency for people in AWS to see younger technical talent as a more useful resource, in that they are going to put up with more BS on average before quitting or burning out. I suppose that might just have become a self-fulfilling prophecy in this case.
Oh, that seems extremely likely now.
It really only takes one client throwing a tantrum over a problem they caused to completely ruin your week, especially if the manager you report to won't back you up and just insists that you 'deal'.