These aren't _my_ assumptions. There is a world of research on these topics. All people can and do have their own opinions but when we're talking about oppressed people (women are oppressed), we have to follow the path by asking "why?"
* Why do little girls suddenly start to ask if "boys are better" when they get to school?
* Why do we feel the need to tell people out opinions about how they look?
* Why is a tattoo of a butterfly on a wrist okay for a woman but not full sleeves? (Contrast that with men.)
* Why do we insist on loudly proclaiming our daughters are "not like other girls" or are "like a boy"? Is there something shameful about it?
We took away agency long ago and we've been dangling it in front of oppressed people for years, periodically letting take small bites. That's another form if how me keep a grip on things. We give people a taste, as long as they're willing to take the conditions that comes with it.
There's a thing called "choosey choice feminism" that is a hot button item. One side days "following the magazine standards is a choice and I'm free to make it because feminism" and the other side says "but why do the magazines exist and would you choose that if you weren't bombarded by it all day?" I think both sides are right but I also hear and see the problems. It's not about whether or not feelings or opinions are right though, it's about what you'd feel or think if you weren't subjected to it constantly. To ignore the external influences and dismiss patriarchy is to accept the status quo as a Good Thing and be okay with slut shaming and demonizing the very freedom of choice you're trying to defend.
I don't see how this works well for long (and it arguably hasn't) because of th cognitive dissonance required to accept all things to be true.