It's extra ironic that the entire issue they're describing is caused exactly by such (IMHO) over-economic thinking.
A long time ago I started computing entertainment in terms of quality hours per dollar.
So for example a good book might cost $20 but last ten hours of high quality entertainment, which is very good value at $2 per hour.
Movie tickets are not-so-good at something like $20 per hour, $40+ if I have a date and we're buying snacks.
Some computer games are ludicrously efficient. I never paid a cent for some games and played them for thousands of hours. Even factoring in the cost of the PC and electricity, we're looking at cents per hour.
Holidays are the worst, at something like $1K+ per day or $60 per waking hour.
I had to explain to the missus that we're wasting money going to a so-so restaurant on an overseas holiday. Since we've already sunk thousands into just being present at that location, and every hour was costing us Real Money, we may as well go to restaurant that's just shy of 5 stars and costs triple digits. Do the sky dive. Then do a dive under the ocean. Snowboard. See something spectacular! Otherwise, what's the point? We're burning money for what... doing nothing... but in a different part of the planet!?
There is some merit into investing from an "hours of fulfilment resulting from the investment" perspective, but if you overdo things, it may actually spoil most of your vacations. If in every moment, you reflect what you could have done, and calculate the hourly opportunity cost instead of enjoying the moment, any money spent on being right under that clear summer sky with romantically sparkling stars on the French coast will degrade to a spreadsheet exercise.
My recommendation: use such considerations in the planning phase, but not _during_ a vacation or date! "Be here now."
I optimize for having a good time with people I care in places where we get know how other people live, taste what other people eat, appreciate different landscapes. I also optimize for relaxing and thinking about life, without the regular worries I have at home. Walking around to see how different cities are.
I don’t optimize for “stories to tell”, “adrenaline”, or “instagrammable moments”.
We are different people and there is nothing wrong with your view on vacations. The only issue that I see is when you try to convince your partner (I’m not sure if that’s what “missus” mean) that this a “waste of money”. “Waste” here is completely subjective. There is nothing objective about it as you seem to imply. So I would make sure that they spontaneously agree with your perspective, before trying to convince them of what is a waste of money and what’s not.
He's not framing it in an economic way. It's just that the words "pay/paid" are very common conversational shorthand for "effort you have to expend". E.g. when parents often say "you have to _invest_ in your children" -- or -- "if you don't exercise consistent discipline when they're young, you will _pay_ the _price_ when they're older" ... the parents are not being clinical economists.
If you're still sidetracked by "pay/price", the alternative metaphor for the same concept is: Don't buy stuff for the "fantasy self" you're imagining. Instead, you have to be brutally honest in your self-assessment of what you will realistically use.
I.e. Don't buy a stack of cookbooks when you don't really have the motivation to cook. Thinking that the colorful photos of completed dishes will spur you to action is fantasy.
Yes, somebody might still complain that "fantasy self" is wrong because "I would never frame cooking food as a field of speculative fiction genre in literature" ... then I guess we're in a never-ending loop of focusing on the metaphor instead of the underlying message.
Some people need to learn how to relax, forget about maximizing value of everything, and just enjoy the act of doing nothing.