For those of you who don't drink, how do you fill your Friday and Saturday nights?
FYI, I don't smoke or drink tea/coffee.
I did the exact same things I used to do except with no alcohol: bars, clubs, parties, whatever.
The toughest thing was realizing how...boring...some of these activities can be. There is, by default, an enormous amount of "down time" at a bar or club or young person's party; down time that people tend to fill by going to the bar for a drink, or sipping on a cocktail, or eventually by being drunk and letting the time pass.
The second toughest thing was realizing how irritating drunk people (and yes, this includes your friends) can be when you're sober.
But I stuck with it, and after a few months I learned different strategies for enjoying a night out--usually revolving around talking to other sober people, or dancing--and my life is much better for it.
Lastly, in my experience i didn't feel the full mental benefits of no alcohol until after about four or six months without a drop.
Some people might expect enlightenment after week of sober life. Never understand why, if alcohol require years to turn you to an alcoholic, how you can back to normal life in a week time?
Is that really a thing even for moderate or very moderate drinkers (like, 4-5 glasses of wine per month)? Do you really feel mental benefits from being totally sober? What kind of benefits? Is there any study about this?
I don’t recall feeling any overall mental differences in the period where I was drinking, although I was only doing it once a week or so.
A mild hum of well being in the back of the brain.
Like lifting the very light blanket of an endless hangover; a blanket so light you don't notice its presence, only its absence.
Of course--and as usual for this sort of thing--lots of confounding factors, N of 1, YMMV, etc etc
I was having two to three strong IPAs every single evening for about the last 10 years. This would give me a nice buzz but nothing close to getting drunk. I stopped completely six months ago. Since then, I've had no noticeable mental benefits to speak of, but I also wasn't experiencing any noticable negative effects beforehand. I have never had elevated liver enzymes. I am physically active and keep a healthy diet.
I decided to stop less for the health reasons but more because I was definitel psychologically super addicted. At this point in my life, I want to begin a new phase without any substances having a hold on me. Pot was a much more serious issue for me, but alcohol is objectively worse for the body so I figured I might as well let go of it too.
Overall, stopping was surprisingly easy. No withdrawals or anything like that. After two weeks I started having emotional cravings for IPAs, cause they are just so damn tasty. That, and kicking back after work with my wife and a few beers had become a very ingrained ritual. Another month from there that went away, along with any thoughts of wanting to drink, period. Going food shopping is about the only time I'm reminded that alcohol exists.
I did make the conscious choice to have a 9% 20oz IPA after about 4 months off. I was very curious about what kind of effect that would have after such a long break. It was strange. I barely felt any effect from the alcohol and got a nasty hangover the next day that lasted into the early evening. I suspected this had something to do with the hops so two weeks ago I repeated the experiment with 24 oz. of 10% Belguian sour. No hangover but still a very subdued effect from the alcohol. I guess even though my enzymes weren't elevated, there is some other mechanism that was making my liver less efficient at processing the booze when I was drinking.
Anyway, my main point is it's all a matter of habit. Unless you're well into the physical addiction phase of alcoholism, it's 100% emotional. Things were a bit easier for me in that I don't like going to bars one bit. House parties were a lot of fun in college but as an adult my social drinking would almost always involve a few friends hanging out at someone's house. Quality time with good friends if they are drinking and you're not is just as good. For those who are into the bar scene, ummm, maybe try pot? But overall, I'd say that if alcohol makes a boring activity tolerable, it obviously makes sense to do something that you actually enjoy instead.
For all of you wanting to stop drinking, just give it a go. It may take a month or two to delete the habit, but it will happen.
First of all, there are no crazy and adventure stories around starting with “we had a couple of cups of tea”, no. In same moment, it is extremely hard to be around drunk people more than half an hour being sober - endless loops in conversations, and jokes are not so funny as it were before. I definitely have less “party time” now, but I cannot judge my friends - this is their choice. Instead, I can offer them different type of activities - dinner at home at Friday or Saturday, outdoor trips, etc, to keep friendships going and be social. Interesting, people tend to drink less if you invite them on your activities. Just create this environment of interesting activities for your friends and comfortable for you. There is no reason to suffer in overcrowded bar at Friday night - too boring (tell me this year ago!).
Secondly, even with reframed social activities alcohol-free lifestyle releases a lot of free time. In my case I just overwhelmed with my old and new hobbies, all my spare time is already allocated and it is not an issue for me to spent Friday or Saturday alone in my cave - plenty things to do. Hard to advice something here, but maybe just learn something new?
Alcohol is a great social clue which makes you accept people you won’t accept.
It's the same way I "quit" drinking soda. I just stopped buying it. It's easy to say no at the store, it's hard to say no after a long day when your defenses are down.
It’s a better recreational drug by pretty much every metric.
It only takes a few tens of milligrams of THC to get the desired effect vs 50+ grams of ethanol in an evening (that gets metabolized into carcinogenic acetaldehyde).
While we don’t fully know the safety profile of cannabis it’s obviously far safer than booze, especially when consumed with a dry herb vaporizer.
No hangover. I can wake up at 6am 7 days a week and work out.
A small amount allows me to instantly shed all work related stress at the end of a busy day/week and get in touch with my body, a process that without cannabis usually takes a few hours.
It makes sex better and boosts libido, unlike alcohol which can easily ruin a sexy evening if you have too much.
I can grow my own, providing a fun hobby.
It doesn’t cause any gastrointestinal issues, but in fact calms your gut. The opposite of alcohol.
It’s just better (for me) in every possible way. It enhances my life greatly.
I run out of productive energy around 2-3pm and the herb brings me right back! It virtually doubled my productive hour range. Its better not to take anything but as far as baby steps go this switch was a massive win.
The ultimate life hack I’ve found for when you feel like a beer is Lagunitas Hoppy Refresher. They’re super tasty, zero alcohol, zero sugar, zero carbs. It’s basically seltzer flavored with hops and man is it delicious and nicely carbonated. A little over $5 for a 4-pack. Thank me later!
Runner up is Heineken 0.0, surprisingly good.
And for another healthy way to alter consciousness - weed edibles are where it’s at.
As someone who drank v.copiously all day every day for years, it's somewhat easier than you might imagine, just gotta stick it out till you're in a new routine. (BTW something very unexpected, I had zero sweet tooth when I was a heavy drinker, gave up booze and a month or so later I was craving cake every night. Not sure how common it is, but push through that too I think.)
Extremely good. :)
Well, I understand this as that it involved people too, and doing some things together.
So, if the alcohol was rather a facilitator, then the question is rather more about you wanting to keep your social circles/interests while just personally wanting to subtract alcohol from your consumption. Is that right?
After all, the options depend more on the people and the common thing that keeps you together, than alcohol by itself. Of course, your personal interests too.
Starting a whole new social circle is a whole new question.
Either way, it's doable, and quite liberating and money saving. Those 7-dollar pints and shots not drunk add up... well, should you not find a pricier substitute, hopefully healthier.
The biggest thing you run into is social pressure for not being called fun etc. Ignore it and you’ll be good :) you’ll notice amazing benefits 3 to 4 weeks after you stop drinking that’ll keep you going!
In terms of how you fill your evenings, that can stay the same, just involves a different drink. :) (unless you literally sit on the couch with an alcoholic beverage and do nothing else, but I’m unfamiliar with that!) hope that helps.
If your concern is seeing the posts on HN about alcoholism, and you're anxious about becoming dependent but currently are not, I can suggest an alternative formulation that I follow. I have a lot of alcoholism in my family, and I myself am quite a moderate drinker. (1-2 drinks per week most weeks; often none; maybe 3-4 in busier summer months when there's more social stuff going on.)
Here are some rules I came up with for myself when I first started drinking, several years ago. They are based on the behaviors that I observed in other people who were "moderate" drinkers.
1) Never drink alone. Alcohol is for social engagements only. (I do count hanging out on video chat/Discord as "social" to an extent, if other people are also drinking. Social engagements don't have to be parties; dinner with your spouse counts. The important thing is it is a social activity.)
2) Never drink more than three drinks in a night. After your third, you're done. Instead, drink slowly. (You could vary this from two to four depending on your health and tolerance. In practice, I almost never drink more than two. I tell people I'm a slow drinker because I'm a lightweight, which is true, but only because I have let it be true by not drinking much.)
3) If you can afford it, drink good quality beverages - craft beer, scotch or bourbon, nice wine - which taste interesting and are worth savoring. Helps with part 2.
4) Never drink solely because you feel bad in some way and "could use a drink." If you feel badly but also are in a social environment where you would have had a drink otherwise, that's okay - you just don't want to form an association where
5) Avoid drinking on an empty stomach - having something to munch on slows you down.
I am not an expert and I don't guarantee this will work for everyone - and certainly it will never work for someone who is already an alcoholic. But it has helped me define my relationship to alcohol in what I feel is a healthy way, and maintain it.
Your post is good for people in a different situation to me though.
One slightly annoying side effect is that I find non-alcoholic beers tend to make me very bloated/gassy/windy. I do not love this, and I don't get this problem with alcoholic beers, or at least nowhere near as badly.
(Btw, I will say in my group of friends, nobody seriously questions it if somebody is choosing not to drink alcohol, even though many of us do. Still, even amongst the drinkers, there are plenty of occasions where they might choose non-alcoholic options.)
[0] Which is actually 0.5% abv, I think, but I worked out you'd have to drink 15 or 20 pints of it in a fairly short period of time to be over the limit for driving which... well, it's not at all feasible for me.
Are there any advice on particular brand to try? Alcohol free Moretti is nice for my taste, but all other lager non-alco is frustrating.
Its hard work and it will continue to be for a while. Eventually the interests that get you excited will far outweigh the want to drink and who you grow into will be stronger than needing to drink.
Best of luck.
And now for a completely left-field suggestion, online games have also become way more mainstream as a social tool lately, so you might get along with doing that (and I don't mean just traditional "Gamer games" like shooters or whatever, but things like Gartic Phone or online tabletop/improv with a few friends over a voice/video call). I know a bunch of stereotypically "party people" ("what? games? that's for nerds") who have taken the pandemic to become a bit more comfortable with virtual entertainment, and they seem to be having a blast.
As life-long teetotaler, I always had more things to do than time: hobbies, sports, or simply talking to friends and family. I might be workaholic, since most of time I cannot find time for those things because of work, but if/when I do have free time the possibilities seem endless.
It's Saturday evening where I am right now, I'm going to work some more and then do some chores while listening to an audiobook. But if I were not working, I'd be in the gym for couple hours and then meeting someone.
For example, I’ve grown to like extremely sour alcohol-free cocktails so much that I now prefer them over alcoholic drinks.
And for what to do if you'd rather not spend your weekend at the bar with friends, well you can do anything else, and that's a pretty vast category. Just do a brainstorm on the things that interest you. Sit down and list 10 things. Then 20. Keep going till you have a list of 100 things that interest you. There will be that many things. The world is an interesting place for most.
I don’t miss alcohol, but I do miss the social part. Having kids is taxing, but also incredibly rewarding.
I think it was Schopenhauer that said love is nature's way of tricking people into taking on the responsibility of having children.
You will have more time and mental clarity to be present for your life priorities. A new default of not drinking becomes automatic behavior after some time, so if it feels unnatural at first simply give it time. Enjoy!
Here is a similar company, see their "What's inside" for ideas: https://clevermocktails.com/en/mocktails/
There are a ton of dry gins you can get: https://www.sinalcoholshop.es/espiritus-sin-alcohol/alcohol-... https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/wine/g32283343/non-alcoh...
Find a dry cocktail you like and make your own at home:
https://www.cocktailchemistrylab.com/home/mocktails-3-ways
https://thekitchencommunity.org/mocktail-recipes/
https://www.amazon.com/Zero-Proof-Drinks-More-Low-Alcohol/dp...
Learn how to make smoke. Learn how to mix syrups. Make syrups and flavours from teas and coffees and chocolates.. try mixing with non-alcoholic wines (pregnant women drink them mostly!)..
It’s important you do what is best for you, however, in general I recommend avoiding excessive drink but enjoy one or two really nice drinks occasionally with friends who do the same. Why do so many tend towards drunkenness or prohibition? There is a third option in the middle.
EDIT: here's the link to the previous discussion as requested in a comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=30009529
You didn’t link to the study so I can’t confirm, however I’m guessing the behavior I recommend would constitute a tiny added risk overshadowed immensely by other behaviors they delight in.
forbes linked it: https://www.forbes.com/sites/elvaramirez/2021/06/01/study-no...
I drink coffee but can't drink six of them in a row without risking a heart attack, while a sixpack of beers gives me only a mild headache next day.
Tried smoking, really tried to catch the habit but they don't do nothing for me. Feel nauseated, also at some point I smoked a packet (20 cigarettes) in a row - never felt so sick in my life. At least with alcohol you throw up and feel better but when stuff's in your lungs what can you do?
Maybe if it were legal here as in Canada or California, I'd try weed. But it's not so I'm stuck with alcohol on occasion.
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. — Benjamin Franklin
Books - Alcohol Explained by William Porter - The unexpected joy of a sober life (forgot the author’s name, but she is a great writer)
I stopped drinking in 2017 btw.
1. you don't have a drinking problem
2. your decision is premised on a sort of "news-shock" experience, which, per Postman [1] and Carr [2], is a bad way to make serious decisions
In particular, drinking alcohol (moderately, socially) is Lindy [3] as hell. I would actually go so far as to say that drinking alcohol (moderately, socially) is a net good for you.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amusing_Ourselves_to_Death
Dropping off alchohol has zero downside and will statistically improve health a bit if the drinking has been only moderate. If one yearns the social meetings one can drink non-alcohol drinks and still have a good time (unless the person has severe anxiety issues and is using alcohol as cure).
I think you chose the right reason to quit drinking, for health reasons.
Take one look at acetaldehyde to see what you've saved yourself from. Alcohol is a systemic poison. It affects every part of the human body in very dramatic ways.
If your body (liver) didn't produce an enzyme called acetaldehyde dehydrogenase, you would die from one drink.
But you shouldn't stop to do something because of half a dozen internet posts
Alcohol bad, sugar bad, salt bad, fat bad, palm oil, refined seed oils, meat, sugar soda drinks, pizza, McDonalds, drugs, processed foods, food additives... bad bad bad
Saturday and Friday I am having fun programming Go or configuring my home server. I might also be drinking alcohol occasionally, but I have fun either way...
Socially karaoke is always fun, no need to drink, although you might want to rehearse some songs to replace the "courage" alcohol gives you
On social occasions I will mostly drink alcohol because there aren't many good alternatives. Drinking sugar drinks like coca-cola will probably do you worse
If I didn’t I would consider a social sport in replacement of beers. Maybe a bouldering gym or a run through the city. Followed by a lemon-lime-soda kind of drink at a pub after?
The super power of being sober if you have a car is being able to drive. You can go wherever you like within say 60 miles - plenty of experiences for most people.
The biggest problem is friends or colleagues not accepting the change and trying to get you yo have a drink. You need a strategy for that and if there is too much pressure ot drunkness becomes too annoying have a bail tactic.
For the alcohol-free or sober curious the weekends are filled with everything that those who drink regularly do- just without the booze. We enjoy cozy movie nights in, fancy dinner dates and fun boozeless brunches with our gal pals. The only difference is, we’re now available for early morning hikes, spin classes and at-home projects.
The truth is, when you stop drinking, you get to know yourself better. You figure out quickly what your really enjoy; perhaps you’re more introverted than you thought, or you prefer a good book on a Friday night over a crowded bar. The possibilities for the weekend are truly endless because you aren’t tied down to activities that only involve drinking. You have extra time to not only unwind and relax, but practice self-care and explore new hobbies.
If you’re new to the booze-free crew try a few of the following suggestions to fill up your weekends while you rediscover yourself:
* Attend restaurants and bars that serve non-alcoholic options so that you feel “part of” (call ahead or check their online menu if you aren’t sure)
* Schedule early morning movement and get those endorphins flowing to start your day off on a positive and productive note
* Connect with other alcohol-free peeps through sober Instagram and find new friends near you
* Stock up on fun, non-alcoholic drinks to make mocktails or experiment with at home
* Plan fun days/nights at home with friends that revolve around things you all love to do- crafting, vision boarding, a book club, a sports team, hiking...
If you want some extra support, try out the Reframe App (https://www.joinreframe.com). For full disclosure, I’m one of the co-founders. Reframe guides the casual drinker through their cut back/sobriety journey through 10 minute daily exercises, community support, coaching, and progress tracking
Similar alternatives would be gaming with friends or tabletop game night.
At some of those places there might be alcohol present, but if there is, there's not much incentive to drink because you'll play the games better if you're more lucid. And most groups I've played with don't include alcohol as part of the events at all.
But be careful, it's a pretty easy and deep rabbit hole to get sucked into (we're pretty much in a board game golden age right now, tons of great releases every year this past decade), and takes up a ton of physical space if you have an impulse control problem and keep buying them when you don't really have the space for all of them in the house. I may or may not be speaking from personal experience.
I used to home-brew wine and beer, and always had a cupboard full of it. Well instead of noticing that supplies were dwindling and brewing more wine/beer, I've let it run out. If I do feel the urge one evening, I'll just buy a 6pack of beer every now and then I think. It will be cheaper in the long run, to shift to this very infrequent mode of drinking
Vaporizers (dry flower or otherwise) are low on smell, edibles have no smell at all but can take a while to kick in.
I’ve gotten back into working out, taken up new/old hobbies now that I’m not drunk and sleepy from 7pm onward.
All the best to you!
Cooking
Lifting
Reading
Building Stuff
Dabbling in various other hobbies
* Exercise (Mountain Climbing; Basketball; Kayaking)
* Learn things
- - to dance (Bachata/Salsa)
- - a new language
- - an instrument
* Hobby groups on Facebook
- - Meet randos to play boardgames
* Make things
* Help people
The biggest problem with me is being social. That's what people want to do around the weekends. The dance classes allow me to interact with people in a less awkward way, but it hasn't exactly provided me with as much opportunities as drinking at a brewery to meet people..
Conversation is my main reasons for hanging out. I don't need alcohol to get the conversation started. My friends know that I don't like to drink and there is no pressure from their side.
Now you can, and have to, decide what you want to do.
You could learn, create, or even care about others.
It's totally up to you.
And that's the hard part. Beeing conscious about yourself.
As for filling weekend nights, well, kids took care of that for the last decade.
I have gotten into Perrier. I buy a 24 pack of 355ml glass bottles for about $16USD. I can then stimulate the carbonation, refreshing Ness, and cold factors of Beer that I so enjoy. It also helps fill my stomach, and I will now instinctively grab and drink a Perrier after my first beer, putting off the desire for a second beer for a while.
Perrier is also great for stretching out alcohol. Noone in their right mind would recommend watering down a beer, and yet that is exactly what I am recommending here. With Perrier, you will get MORE carbonation than the beer, MORE cold if the beer has been out for a few minutes, and especially if drinking out of a can, or unchilled glass. But the dirty little secret is that tap water ruins the taste, and degrades bubbles. Perrier allows the taste to remain the same/better (it's probably better than the starting water used to make beer!) While diluting potency and reinforcing the bubbles and temperature (if adding to not fresh beer)
Sometimes I forgo the beer altogether and make a craft soda. I don't like a lot of sugar, and won't drink pop. But with a local company, https://blackgoldcola.com , I can choose the amount of syrup (sugar) I add to a glass and then fill with Perrier. It's the ultimate refresher. I typically use about 1/2 the recommended amount, or 25ml per 355ml, which is 16g of real cane sugar.
Friday and Saturday nights are spend making music with friends (jamming with synthesizers mostly) or online gaming with friends ( 7 days to die mostly)
It is creative, can be really social and can mostly be done at home.
Another would be non-alcoholic beer, which is essentially the same as beer, but just with all its alcohol boiled off.
I just wanted to congratulate you on your excellent decision. Your future self will thank you.
> programming, reading
I prefer to put it in the gas tank of my truck.
Over the winter while being at the parents home I have gotten into drinking high quality irish whiskey on a Friday night after a week of work to chill. But it’s not that amazing. Luckily that stuff is the only thing that doesn’t give me a subpar next day. Even 2 beers will make me feel scuzzy the next day.
Perhaps you should question yourself for bias against the substances being discussed, unless you wish to admit the obvious, i.e. that you have questionable reading skills. OP does not have a substance abuse problem. Billions of people across the planet use alcohol, marijuana and any number of other substances to achieve precisely the same thing that he is seeking to achieve, and they do so successfully and with aplomb.
I'm gunna use what I got.
“Who of us is to say that the goal of this life is not in the leaving it?” —Vladimir Nabakov.
</soapbox> with my apology.
Yes! I agree wholeheartedly. What the human mind and body can do is monumental and incredible. The depth and breadth of experience we are capable of is truly mystical.
It is this very capacity for near-magical experience that has me very wary of casual use of mind-altering drugs of any sort. I look through the comments on this thread and am horrified by the number of people who think that the highest form of human socialization and relaxation is achieved only through an altered state of consciousness. That to really live, we have to take a substance that changes how we live. The sense seems to be not that the human mind is capable of incredible feats in its own right, but that the human mind is mostly a great conduit for externally-injected meaning and value. It is this perception that concerns me.
But I feel like most people began to consume it based on that false premise you mention and others impose it, like a chain effect.
Can't tell if it's some cultural thing but it's so weird to me, one of those aspects of society I can't understand.
Though even weirder has been that sometimes I've been ostracized because this not-alcohol consumption.
If it's not confusing enough, they're not doing it as thoroughly as they could be . . .
>Those "stupid things" are often things you reminisce about with friends many years later
Often only because your friends inform you of your "memorable accomplishments" at the time which you actually have no recollection of whatsoever.
I don't know what's on their mind sometimes . . . and neither do they.
It's bizarre to me that some people think the opposite of "drinking alcohol" is "being solitary and having no fun". It seems like a lot of people have leaned on alcohol for so long that they've actually become convinced it's the only way.
Weekend drinkers, while terrified of having a boring life, are some of the most boring people I know. They never read anything, they never do anything, they never build anything or have any interesting ideas. They're too busy sleeping until noon to have time for that.
And while you drinking, especially hard, it is hard build anything or implement your ideas - alcohol very often acts as “reset” button (at least in my case) and you not able to develop and maintain any complex idea for a long time - next party will wipe it out.
If you are drinking so little that you are not getting hangovers (and you are older than say 35), then you are drinking so little you might as well substitute the alcohol for something non-alcoholic and do the same thing, because your experience will largely be the same as that of a sober person either way.
People in here are acting like the only thing enjoyable about alcohol are the effects of binge drinking.
I have one or two beers in the evening, and I fall asleep. Been that way since my 20s.
>Live your life. You only have one.
Two interesting pieces of advice.
As we know however, tons of people are going to need to completely stop drinking alcohol in order to continue living any kind of life at all.
Survival would hinge on heeding only the latter approach.
not my downvote, but I do speak from experience, I actually was set back a couple years as a result of an air conditioner in motion combined with the way the pavement behaved.
But I survived.
Even though those drugs are very safe (in the short term) on their own, watch out that they are highly dangerous to mix with alcohol -- if you do that you could get over-sedated, do crazy things, black out or die.
Other drugs of that family are less good as a social lubricant, particularly the long-acting benzodiazepines such as Klonopin or Clorazepate which could still be sedating you 24 hours later.
Unfortunately if you use BZs regularly for a long period of time you can get an addiction which is particularly hard to kick.
In the realm of speculation it's been imagined that a partial agonist for the benzodiazepine receptor would have a cap on its effects even if you took a large dose and would be very safe for recreational use, kind of like the 'Synthahol' from Star Trek. One advantage is that the effects can be reversed with this stuff
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2244412/
however there is a lot of apprehension about using that drug for BZ overdoses because a person who is badly dependent on BZs could have seizures triggered by Flumazenil.
Not in the United States. Try getting a script for Xanax and you'll be lucky you don't get reported the DEA re: our opioid crisis.
(The combination of BZs and Opioids is not always dangerous in people who are experienced with the drugs, but can be a dangerous mixer for people who don't have tolerance.)
tldr; if you're poor, good luck getting any scheduled drug
Note to self. Sue the fuckers for violating my civil rights just to get Xanax. Clog up the courts. Finally! A windmill at which to tilt!
While people react differently Xanax scared the shit out of me. I would never touch the stuff again. I have a friend who got off Xanax and also heroin...Xanax was way harder to abstain from
It is noteworthy though to not buy them on the darkweb. Fentanyl is now tainting that stuff
On the other hand I think he should know that a 1-1 pharmacological substitute is available.
It's like alcohol though. Chronic use of alcohol will really destroy you, faster than chronic BZ use. Taking a Xanax on the weekend occasionally won't wreck your life and could be safer than drinking.
And going the darkweb route is a nonstarter due to fentanyl being found in a variety of Xanax
Or you can use a friend I do they have a legit prescription
"what can I do instead of drinking"
Well, there's dope, poppers, E, heroin, meth, crack, benzos, coke ...
LOL