That’s what I do with my ex but I can’t escape the hurt, depression, and uncertainty during the weeks when they are with my ex.

I think most parents fully expect to be parents 100% of the time once they have kids.

I don’t want, don’t need, don’t enjoy the “me/adult” time at all. I just want to make dinner for my kids, help with homework, watch a show together, take them to practice, play games, watch them grow, have conversations, hear their voices.

I coach everything just so I can see them on my off weeks. I am president of the pta so I can see them more often too.

It’s awful in every way for me. I can’t stand it when they are gone.

EDIT: Add in my ex bringing boyfriends around which makes me physically ill. I don’t sleep or eat. I feel miserable. I just hope my kids are getting through this okay, but it’s so hard to tell. I don’t want to ask if they feel bad because then they might think they are supposed to be feeling bad. So I just do what I can to make them feel happy and loved.