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but because I need to control my emotion and how I respond.

You discovered one the benefits of meditation.

Well, part of the problem meditation addresses is the desire to control one’s thoughts - which is usually counter productive. The more one tries to control and fight what is, the more pain that usually results.

It’s usually more productive to notice them, notice their nature, and let them go when and where they do not serve your interests. With a small pat on the head, and some not small amount of empathy and caring.

Which is hard of course, especially when there are real reasons for them. But if they do not help, it’s better for everyone.

I think what you're describing is called Ironic Process Theory [1]. I do agree that wrestling with your thoughts is counterproductive. I think that it's much more effective to try to view them dispassionately, to analyze them to death to make them go away.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ironic_process_theory

It’s usually more productive to notice them, notice their nature, and let them go when and where they do not serve your interests.

You discovered mindfulness, which is something meditation enables you to achieve.

Not my discovery, but yes. For anyone else following - Zen Buddhism may be useful for you.

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