How the Finnish survive without small talk (2018)
bbc.com
bbc.com
I'm Spanish, in my culture people will interrupt you mid sentence if they have something to say.
I just need to change expectations like I change languages. It's not a problem but it requires to think about your audience culture. They are just different.
I like the article and how shares this idiosyncrasy. I wish it talked about it as something normal, instead of something 'abnormal'. But it makes sense that it takes the British perspective.
There is a brilliant comic called Finnish Nightmares that covers many situations like this. For anyone not Finnish (or Estonian) it is probably an inside joke.
Also explains why I enjoyed my (so far only) trip to Estonia so much.
I have this feeling that this is not a Finish thing, but a rest-of-the-world-apart-US, thing. In my ~40 years spent in Romania and now UK, I rarely saw people engaging strangers on public transport, let alone doing it loudly.
My Belgian companion wisely kept his damn mouth shut the whole time.
It felt bizarre.
Now if you're travelling towards another city in the UK chances are you won't get nearly as dramatic an effect.
Dense urban areas tends to have people withdrawing into a cocoon even many places where people are usually friendlier.
If we are in a pub, by all means, let's chat. I might even buy you the drinks for the rest of the night.
There is time for chatting and there is time for minding your <beep> mind. And I think I should get my British passport simply for believing and living by this idea.
Even where I live in South London, random strangers will say hi to you if you go for a walk in the park early enough in the morning, when they've not yet run into too many people. And then the later in the morning you go, the more people raises their shields.
It's not about likelyhood of talking, but how loud you speak. I feel like my inlaws (from the US) are constantly shouting.
The quiet public places and public transport do make my introverted heart gleeful, though. I also reckon that a group of German tourists can give Americans a run for their money in the boisterousness department. :)
Amazing prompt service and no talking. Gave 30% to him
I should have said "service is included".
Which I (with my temporarily bruised ego) think means that the standard +10-20% that you apply in US it not really expected.
Generally you round up, or give 10% if it's an occasion.
When I got here 30 years ago it was my first experience "interacting" with Finns and I always thought it was a problem with me (3rd gen Californian).
Thankfully, a long time local Norwegian friend told me a joke that cleared it all up.
Q: "How can you tell when a Finn is an extrovert?"
A: "They stare at your shoes instead of their own."
I asked my 3rd gen Finnish acquaintances about that, and they heartily agreed.
As a Brazilian I was shocked at how polite people were abroad with pleases and thank yous. In Brazil I'm asked bluntly "what is the time?" by strangers on the street that just turn away after I answer. That is just rudeness, not directness.
Taken from Arabic where it is evidenced since the 9th century https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speech_is_silver,_silence_is_g...
" ... "
Maybe we Finns think too much and say something only when we’re sure what to say, so it might be very compact, well thought package of information. Something like: “Sure. Good Bye.”
We also seem to share some bad drunken behavior and dark humor with English lads.
I’ve often thought that too.
There’s a reason the Brits love Kimi Raikkonen!
/s for the newbies.
Most Scandinavians I know are direct, and out of all the Nordic people, the Finns are direct ++.
But I still stand by what I said.
You probably thought I was poor at geography, which is a fair assumption since this is quite the US-centric site. ;-)
This would match Linus, no?
Just ask his opinion on C++ and the ice will not just be broken - it will turn into a volcano.
Stark contrast to summer park drinking. The noise of everybody talking is ear-splitting.