Hacker News Reader

Comment by toyg | Hacker News Reader

This is realistic only in your 20s-early 30s. Once you start a family, relocation is hard, more of a chore than a perk.

It only works in your 20es because everyone else in your age group is also relocating. When you move you tear up your friends network and have to make new friends. Sounds easy, but people only have room for so many close friends in their life, they will be friendly to you but most won't have room to add another friend so making close friends is hard.

I’m at the age where most of m friends are flung across the country. Close relationships take tons of time and mental investment so at this point I like living in lcol and flying out for a week to visit or them visiting me

WFH has obviously lots of advantages for those with kids too. No more paying half a salary for childcare so they can be looked after because you are cooped up in an office. Also in terms of living somewhere kid friendly.

Watching a kid while working is not really possible. They get into too much.

Depends on the age and you can also do some of the work later when they are asleep and start earlier etc.

Under the age of 12/13, it is just not possible. I am a parent of 2 young kids and will NOT believe anyone who says that they can work from home with a 7 year old in the house without another caretaker present. I have seen it firsthand and it is just not possible to wing it with a kid in the house who has no one else to attend to.

It very much depends on the kid, and your appetite for low-level risk.

In the end, you likely don't lock your knives away, and you can bet that your kids know where they are.

It would have worked with me at 7 but not my sister. I was babysitting a 2 year old by myself by the time I was 10.

I agree with you. There might be some alternatives though. Where I live (Nordic country) we can choose to work less time when we have kids. If one parent only works 80% that means he/she (most often she) can work from 8 am to 3 pm and be done. If the kids are in school or pre-school this may be enough. Of course, it requires pre-school, kindergarten or similar for smaller kids (school basically starts at the age of 6 here).

Without kindergarten I don't see how you could work full time and take care of a kid under 6 years old. Especially not the first 2-3 years.

Or, later, when all of your kids are moved out. I've been working at home for about 12 years now. I would not even start a conversation with a company that wanted me "onsite".

My work location exceeds anything any other company could possibly provide me. Except, maybe I don't have snacks sitting around all the time, I don't get free lunches.. and, I don't have a ping pong table to challenge my co-workers at.

I miss a few of those things, but, generally, I'm happier working at home.

I agree, but realistically that takes you in the 50+ range. The median age of the US workforce, so the top of the curve, is 42 (under 40 if minority or in tech but still well above 30).

There is no requirement to start a family after early 30s, or really ever.

It's not directly about constant relocation. It is about keeping options open and the freedom comes with it. Yes, relocating has it's costs especially on one's social circle, but I'd still prefer a job that lets me decide where I work.

What if my aging parents get sick and I want to spend time with them? Maybe my partner doesn't have the ability to work remotely and needs to relocate for work? What if I develop a health condition that can be improved by location (climate, air quality, distance to medical center)? All of these can be pretty stressful situations and apply to all ages. Do I really want to be forced to find another job or deal with possible financial insecurities during any of these?

I suppose once you have kids, working from home is also more of a chore than a perk, which I suspect is a big part of reason for the split in attitude

As somebody who has done it for almost 11 years, it depends: on its own, it's actually cool that you get the flexibility to deal with kids' schedules; however, if it means sharing the house 24h with them or the wife, as it can happen in early age or under lockdowns, it can be very challenging, and there the office feels like respite.

Working from home for the past 2 years has allowed me to help a lot with my own growing family. I do clock in my normal work (if anything I do more now because of my home setup, being able to jump in and out of work, whatever the hour.) My kids have certainly grown up accustomed to the setup, too. We've got good boundaries and I'm able to see and take part in a lot of their "firsts", all while continuing to do good work.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com