I've handled several high stress situations on the job. E.g. servers are down, customers are pinging support. Everyone doesn't know what to do.
I've solved problems several times in that environment. I have the battle scars and I'm used to doing that.
I am much more comfortable in a giant legacy codebase that I've never used before, trying to fix a critical bug that is losing the company thousands of dollars per minute than I am during these live coding sessions.
I realize tons of it has to do with practice so I plan to do that.
It's just confusing to have an entire decade of high performance (with references to prove it) to be judged on how well I can dance with a funny hat on.
I'm not whining, I'll do the work. I just don't have time right at this moment, if that makes sense.