I love the bio bit. That's a hilarious and really nice touch.
Who's being unprofessional here? Isn't it the recruiter?
You can always be as demanding as you want but don't be surprised when somebody else doesn't give in.
I wish recruiters would do the same. If I engage with recruiters that use the scatter gun approach then it is inevtable that they will be wasting my time as they just aren't interested in detail and effort.
I'd add that recruiters that spam people without any criteria or attention are a telltale sign that you are already expected to be treated as disposable and unworthy of attention even way before you are even made an offer.
So, strong start.