Haha yes, it was the 90s and all sorts of crazy things were gotten away with back then.
computerTemperatureWhenFire :: IO (Maybe Double)
...whereas in PHP there’s a setting in php.ini with a Hebrew name that will cause the function to spin-lock, pegging your CPU to 100% until it does catch fire, so that you can be sure it’ll always return a value. And it defaults to true.