How to make quitting your addiction easier
deprocrastination.co
deprocrastination.co
For example — get home from work, tired, don’t want to go row. Instead of saying to myself “You really should go row, you said you wanted to do it 4 times a week.” I say “1 hour from now do I want to be a person who has sat on the couch for an hour or do I want to be the person who has worked out, taken a shower, and feels good”. Same thing for stopping mindless doom scrolling or making dinner vs ordering deliver or whatever.
I know it’s just a mental trick — but reframing things in terms of my future self has been incredibly powerful for me.
First, the piece you call out is delayed gratification (ie focusing on the future over the short-term).
But there's a second piece hidden in there, which is identity-orientation. "I'm the type of person who does X". Tying actions to your identity is actually really powerful.
Lecture 13 especially https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkWNBdBDyoE
Meditation, therapy, exercise, certain religious practices, etc. Also break people out when they are stuck in loops of vicious cycles. Different people have different combinations of what practices work for them. And there's no way to know what works before you try it.
In OPs article, he mentions the distinction between knowledge and information. He means self-knowledge, the stuff Socrates talked about
Example - how badly do you not want to run today (6/10). Why not 10/10? Because I'll feel better after, because it's part of my marathon training and because dinner will feel more rewarding. Ok, go run.
[1] Unless you're injured and stubbornly push your body through it.
Also, even if you walk back home after an injury, you might regret running. You started your run able to run, now you're disabled!
If your body is utterly out of shape, i.e. you're morbidly obese, you don't start with running. You start with walking and slowly move to running. In that case, you won't regret walking, not running.
If you're 100lbs overweight, it's roughly the same effort & same strain on joints as a person 100lbs lighter carrying a 100lb backpack.
Seeing fitness progress graphs helps as well (heart rate vs power output etc). I know for me personally monitoring my resting heart rate made a strong argument against pretty much any alcohol consumption.
Obviously there are other factors like fitness, sleep, general health, but I was monitoring the numbers on a daily basis and the trends became really clear.
Future me has been less effective for breaking the internet habit. It works, just not quite as well. I think because future me still wants to know what happened in the world in the last hour. And because sometimes current me needs a break and light entertainment due to the mental energy required to consider future me.
In specific, I mean as it relates to information management. E.g., a lot of things are solved problems for me, like using todo apps for todos, and some sort of "Everything bucket"[0] system for searching for information (per the link, I use the file system for this).
But things like this, things you want to try and implement, but unlike a todo, you have to wait for the right moment (i.e., use this technique to address a bad habit at the right moment), I can't figure out a way to use to technology to remember to do them.
(I'm aware some people don't like to use technology to solve these kinds of problems, but for me personally, technology has been tremendously effective in solving these problems when a system can be adapted to the problem. I'm just not sure what the system should be for this type of information.)
I've actually been thinking about this problem literally for over a decade, the first app I ever made was designed to address it[1]. This app is no longer maintained, because it didn't get enough users to be worth maintaining. Maybe an app like this is the right solution, and there's just not enough people who think it's a problem worth solving to support the continued development of a software solution? I'm not sure.
[0]: https://www.al3x.net/blog/2009/01/31/the-case-against-everyt...
If you don't have a sufficient level of awareness, it'll be really hard to catch yourself thinking "man, I don't want to do X, I'm just gonna lay on the couch." You'll just go lay on the couch and your brain will continue on to something else.
To break these kinds of patterns, you essentially need a "supervisor" process running in your brain that can catch and evaluate thoughts, especially negative or harmful ones. Then if you catch yourself thinking "I don't want to do X right now," you can proceed to thinking about that feeling rather than laying on the couch.
Takes about a month or two of daily meditation before this sort of thing really starts becoming effortless.
I miss my meditation routine...
Anyway, I agree with you — meditation appears to be able to make that kind of introspection automatic, which is a real boon. That's true in my own experience over the past 3 months as a n00b[1], and seems to be the case for many/most people.
It (automatically) changes the "I don't want to do rowing" feeling into an observation like, "Oh, here's the predictable urge to not do rowing arising". It's a subtle difference, but the main point is that it feels different and separate from "I (me, myself) don't want to do X".
Obviously, "I don't want to row" isn't accurate. PREVIOUS you wanted to row, or you would not have bought the rowing machine. SUBSEQUENT you will presumably be happier and more satisfied (and a bit healthier!) if you do the rowing.
It's just the shard of you in THIS MOMENT that "doesn't want to" — and even that is likely inaccurate if you notice and examine the urge. It is probably just one of several competing thoughts/sensations arising in consciousness.
What meditation practice (pretty quickly) makes automatic is something you can also intentionally do on purpose, if you have a lot of energy and your willpower reserves are holding up: enable making the decision of whether to engage with and identify with this thought, and therefore perpetuate it into the next moment (and the next, and the next), or to just let it pass away on its own.
[1]: I started by reading the book "Ten Percent Happier", thought the science-based benefits of meditation sounded interesting, and tried a few of the apps available. I settled on Waking Up (and, accidentally, Ten Percent Happier since I forgot to cancel the trial subscription, so now I do both). I think each of these apps might suit one's personality differently, depending, but any of them will do the trick. You also don't need an app; you could just read a book, but app is an easier way to get started.
It is like weight-lifting: the gains for n00bs are easy and almost impossible not to get. You just have to do it.
You totally don't have to do it well. I "couldn't" meditate at all at first, even with guidance. I couldn't tell anything different was happening, compared to me just sitting there. It took maybe twenty ten-minute sessions before I was like, "oh, I think I just meditated for a couple seconds". As I progressed, I realized my previous self-assessments weren't accurate, but after two months of daily meditation (just 10-15 minutes a day!) I noticed not only that I could now do it (part of this was learning that finding yourself lost in thought, and letting the thoughts dissipate and just refocusing on the breath or whatever the object of meditation is), but also that I was getting IRL benefits from it later, during daily life when not meditating.
I don’t really go for quantified self stuff generally, I do quite like living intuitively as much as I can. But sometimes you do need to call yourself on your own bullshit.
Personally my cannabis use patterns can mess with my sleep, I've noticed how much by simply using a sports band sleep tracker. Its surprisingly accurate at predicting my overall energy levels
Not going to claim it's all been plain sailing, and I don't really want or intend to maintain a permanent state of sobriety, but the article certainly matches my experience, and having hard evidence really helps.
I'm sorry you experience this. Its very unpleasant, to put it lightly.
What you're experiencing is the down regulation of GABA in the brain. Personally when I use GABAergics like alcohol, I always experience an increase in negative thought patterns after. I now avoid them like the plague, but they do have their uses for things like general anxiety disorders (as a last resort only IMO) and acute issues like panic attacks (this is where they shine)
Regular or high dose use (most drinking patterns that I've observed) will cause down regulation more readily than having a drink or two once a year or so. This is also beneficial as it minimizes the cancer risk associated with drinking
One can learn a new language in less time.
People with OCD often find the obsessive and repetitive behavior helps with anxiety, although the anxiety ends up reduced in the short-term, it worsens in the long term as the behaviors have negative consequences of their own (disruptive and time consuming, interfering with normal life activities, shame for lack of self-control).
We wouldn’t tell someone with OCD to just “quit doing that” (and for the person it would just increase anxiety to stop doing what helps their anxiety), but provide an alternative that addresses the core cause of the behavior (anxiety) and “unlearns” the harmful behavior, replacing it with self-help tools to address the core problems (anxiety) in ways that are less harmful and likely more effective in the long term. That can be done through a number of approaches, none of which are surefire and often take a few attempts.
I’ve noticed finding ways to make my experience more friendly, easy, and kind seems to make the most progress in assessing patterns.
Best quote I’ve heard on addiction:
“Addiction is getting more of something than you want.”
I could only truly stop playing it when I completely internalized the fact that the game didn't bring me anything except misery after every match, win or lose, and the short term satisfaction of the ding you hear when you kill a creep or make a fancy play were not worth it.
Sometimes when I remember it exists I still feel a pull towards it, but now I know that if I play it, in 45 minutes I'll wish I did something else instead. This is more than enough to stop me, fortunately.
After going through that, I no longer play games at all and would probably be fine with some degree of regulation in the industry. Many kids are growing up as addicts and it's a bit worrying.
Being cognizant of this was among the first steps to curbing addiction for me, but I found that I would quickly forget when my mind was in pursuit mode. Anticipation creates a large spike in dopamine - I've shaken in anticipation, you've got blinders on at that point. I needed the discipline to avoid entertaining the thought of cravings and take myself out of situations, offer alternatives even. When I was stressed or sleepless is when this was hardest. Eventually your baseline dopamine levels improve, and you find more motivation and focus for everyday life. It can get better with most other things remaining equal, which in my experience was beyond my imagination until I lived it.
These days I play more of the latter than the former, but less often, and the decision to play them feels more intentional.
On roguelikes, as the actions are literal instant based, yoou can play and finish a gameplay under a week with just 20 minutes at every afternoon.
FTL is not a roguelike to me, but Slashem is, and the dungeon rooms never exceed 80x24 chars except for some concrete areas I think. Thus, the gameplay can be paradoxically both fast paced at the beginning and slowish on the deepest rooms.
Thank God I never started dota. Just reading the steam reviews are enough to convince anyone that gaming is a serious public health issue and detriment to society.
1. You play well, but your teammates play poorly. You lose the game, you feel bad.
2. You play poorly, but your teammates play well. Whether you win or lose, you feel bad.
3. You play poorly, your teammates play poorly. You feel bad.
4. You play well, your teammates play well. You win - the only happy scenario -, but even then there's going to be complaining and whining by everyone in the game.
If your win rate is something like 55%, you're going to experience a lot of the bad scenarios, even though you're ranking up in the long term. Once it's an addiction, you start the game already in a bad state of mind, as you hate that you're wasting your time on a pointless game anyway.
ARAMs were fun though, I actually enjoyed ARAM.
I still play video games of course, but nowadays I'm more conscious of what each of them bring to my life, and avoid the ones that don't leave me feeling good after a long session.
I think you are def in the minority of people who regularly play LoL or Dota haha
relevant: https://clips.twitch.tv/SplendidAliveQueleaFeelsBadMan-QxQq2...
Some more resources:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Alcoholism_Medication/ - a great community and how I first discovered The Sinclair Method
https://www.onelittlepillmovie.com/ - documentary on The Sinclair Method
https://youtu.be/6EghiY_s2ts - TED talk on The Sinclair Method
https://www.dropbox.com/s/60fs7gmvbyzs1kk/Cure%20for%20Alcoh... (warning: large PDF) - book about The Sinclair Method, definitely the best way to learn more, it is surprisingly simple and the first few chapters cover everything but you may find yourself reading on because there's some interesting case studies and tips on how to succeed
(Please spare me the "ackchyually alcohol makes anxiety worse" spiel. Whatever my problem is, it was there long before I started drinking and has not improved during periods of abstinence.)
Otherwise, the pill is better. Take it if you plan to drink, and dont take it otherwise.
As another poster has said, its easy to "overshoot". For me, after three pills I stopped craving for alcohol and only drink on social ocassions.
At some point I was able to get my PCP to refill my Naltrexone subscription. Naltrexone is pretty widely known for treatment for alcoholism but the prevailing wisdom in the medical community is that it must be taken every day to prevent cravings and alcohol should not be consumed when on Naltrexone. I've heard that this way of using Naltrexone isn't any better than placebo. The TSM book[1] does a good job of explaining why this is the case: the mechanism of action is that the Naltrexone blocks the endorphin rewards from consuming alcohol, so it doesn't work if you don't drink and there is no point in taking Naltrexone without drinking.
tldr: you may be able to find a TSM specific doctor via telemedicine. Additionally, most PCP will probably prescribe Naltrexone, although you need to be mindful that they may recommend to take it every day and this is not TSM
[1] https://www.dropbox.com/s/60fs7gmvbyzs1kk/Cure%20for%20Alcoh...
*4chan is full of hate, but if you grew up with it and have a sort of auto-filter, there are surprising things there. I would not have read (and deeply enjoyed) Moby Dick if not for 4chan. Weird. This is not a recommendation though, generally speaking, avoid the place at all costs.
Something like hackernews or reddit is more endless, without a neatly defined "stop". (Of course, I'm still here)
Something for instance, like "I can only browse HN on my phone, during lunch." if you can successfully establish it as a ritual, that limits your potential window to time waste. Perhaps this is not a sentence entirely directed toward you, but: There's diminishing returns to HN's utility the longer you spend time on it. Knowledge you collect but can't/won't act upon is meaningless.
I wonder if your in some kind of local maximum, i bet if you stopped wasting time on 4chan you would find other things that make your life richer. like you just dont know how much value can be added to your life from other things, especially ones that wont require so much filtering on your part
Altogether, I intend to quit visiting. Hopefully sooner than later. I 'quit' rather frequently. The best comparison I can make for my compulsive usage is to someone who started smoking before they were 10. I was heavily browsing forums by 8 and 4chan by 12.
HN has an included time limiter in the options.. but nothing stops you from launching it in incognito so it's only useful as far as you have willpower.
I've done the hosts file thing and other efforts. It is clear the only thing that will work is looking right at the bottle and realizing I don't want it anymore, much like the article in question suggests.
Leave. Seriously. Don't visit if you can help it. There are other, better places to go now. I only visit because I'm semi-involuntarily hooked.
If you instead mean to ask "It's hard for me to imagine anything positive coming out of 4chan. How did you get value out of that site?":
I prefer to remain anonymous and won't describe my hobbies in detail, but among other things I was pointed to new (to me) bands, books and study resources, sometimes quite obscure. The 'what I read, what I expected, what I got' memes persuaded me to read literature that I ignored when it was suggested elsewhere. I learned a lot about computers on /g/, a lot about cars on /o/, etc. Iirc, those communities were developed earlier than their reddit counterparts. There may have been other car forums, but they weren't as funny. Additionally, the site was always hateful, but much less so than it is now.
I suppose also that it helped with my lonliness. For many years I found 4chan, at it's best, to be a much more sincere place than other more moderated communities. Elsewhere, someone might get banned for a clear and honest opinion on my post if it is unkind. On 4chan, someone might insist that I kill myself.
So if I made a post on 4chan and the worst I got was 'you're stupid', or even positivity, I knew it was genuine because that person had the other options available. Elsewhere, I was not so sure.
In grade school I nearly failed a semester because I read books all day. It was obsessive. I didn't do my school work but knew all kinds of random facts. And even though my parents caught it and pulled me out I never did as well as I could have because at some level the issue persisted, even now and I'm 50 years old.
It really has been a problem my entire life. I suspect it's kind of like the evolutionary desire for sugar. Useful when sugar was rare, deadly when sugar is cheap, refined and readily available. Same with the desire for information. We can only healthily process so much and we only need so much and it needs to be in the proper form.
It's so bad sometimes I'll have multiple tabs open at a time paging back and forth at light speed, or listening to informational audio and trying to read at the same time. Or surf the net for 14 hours straight. Like a wino greedily slurping a bottle as fast as he can with another ready to go in the other hand.
I never got into video games which always seemed like complete boring waste of time.
The ironic thing is I never would have found the article if I weren't frantically scrolling HN looking for the keys to the universe.
This is a very familiar story.
Even today it's still an issue. I have missed the gym, or been late to a social obligation hundreds of times due to getting stuck reading something.
While the behavior does have negative impacts, I generally view it as a positive thing.
I know a little about a lot, and I can generally have an engaging conversation with anyone, about the things they want to talk about.
I think knowing a little about a lot also helps me in the periphery of the things I do go deep into.
For example, I've read hundreds of articles on Hacker News about cyber security and have read countless comments by cynical devs explaining that companies don't take security seriously because it doesn't create revenue. Today as a non-technical founder, the security posture of my organization is 10x better than my peers (including technical founders) at similar sized (and even bigger!) orgs.
You spoke specifically about the negative impacts - do you see any positive impacts?
By the time I was in maybe 6'th grade I suspect I had better knowledge of world history, different cultures, ecology and a whole lot other topics then most of my teachers. At least at a superficial level. Even though a lot of books I was reading were fiction I knew a lot about the world. So (as you say) a lot of times when I need to know something I know where to look or have a baseline to start from. Also I think I understand how things fit together holistically better then average. And my research skills are pretty good, separating the wheat from the chaff and rapidly getting to the meat of a topic takes a lot less time then others I've noticed.
But, it hasn't made me rich lol. Perhaps because I have too many interests and they aren't always the most immediately useful. And there have been other problems.
On books, get adult mistery gamebooks, they are random enough to force yourself on your previous choices (and your character's skills) and having to improvise to win instead of being a static reader.
EDIT: 68k URL.
"Congress may change this arcane law to avoid another Jan. 6"
Although come to think of it, he might have a point. Maybe if I stuck with that I wouldn't be tempted to keep going back.
For the former, mindfulness, metrics, and discipline can be extremely effective (and can provide many benefits beyond simply quitting the habit).
For the latter, they can be helpful, but we usually need a great deal more assistance.
I like ice cream and chocolate chip cookies a little too much. It's not quite an addiction, but it's gone beyond a bad habit at this point.
YMMV, but in my own experience for what it is worth, I've seen little difference and much parallel between quitting cigarettes (after 10 years of ~15 cigs/day), weed (after 11 years of ~1-1.5g/day) and Internet time-wasters (.. a W.I.P., many-to-most hours a day). Haven't gamed in a while now, but the loop of self-hatred and coping where each day you tell yourself "tomorrow is a new dawn" has felt eerily similar to each day telling yourself you're done smoking after this pack - which you make sure to finish so you wake-up without any left - until you're walking right back to the convenience store begrudgingly before noon. Rinse and repeat for months and years until, eventually, it actually sticks for some reason and you get past the first few months without giving in to your triggers (failing which you're basically back to square one). The pull to grab a smoke never really goes away, although it actually stinks after a few months, you just learn to tell yourself "no". The same way going to the dispensary remains tempting, but you remind yourself how it actually makes you feel after you smoke beyond the habitual dopamine hit. The same way reinstalling LoL or whatever gets tempting when you don't want to do what you need to do, but you manage to control yourself knowing you won't get any satisfaction from it.
I know it sounds dumb, I know none of these are comparable to an opioid addiction (despite what some say about nicotine, I refuse to believe it is harder to quit then opioids) and I don't think I'm able to properly word how I'm trying to say w.r.t. addiction, but I really think, for myself, that my addictions acted in a very similar way on my psyche. They're all self-destructive ways (for me and my usage) of coping with my negative emotions and anxieties, the "pull" to each when trying to quit and the hoops my brain'd go through to justify giving in to a trigger felt very similar, chemical or not. If anything, quitting cigarettes was the "easiest" and avoiding wasting hours a day on unfulfilling Internet activities remains the hardest.
Fair enough. I didn't feel that was appropriate, either, as I am quite aware that these types of addictions can be very destructive.
I can assure you, though, that considering them to be in the same category as a chronic alcoholic or drug addict is just as inaccurate, with the added caveat that calling it by the same name, "cheapens" the more serious type of addiction. That's one of the reasons that some folks get upset over calling people "Nazis," for doing things like being anal about the rules. They feel that it waters down the true horror of what the Nazis were really all about.
Also, "Bad Habits" was a great album by The Monks (2.0 -UK- Version).
I get what you're saying, but I have a hard time agreeing we should be so stringent as to what we'll call addiction and not. If it's derailing your life, calling it a bad habit is reductive. I think addiction is a large enough spectrum that it can encompass both horrific and harsh addictions. It actually reminds me of all the stories I read about narcotics anonymous where people feel so unwelcome in those groups as their struggles get shrugged off by NA that they resort to going in AA groups pretending their coke addiction was booze as they are less judgemental groups.
I'd be extremely interested in learning a bit more about this, but I don't think that discussion of individual treatments is something I'll be pursuing in a public venue.
Feel free to reach out to me. I have my info in my HN profile.
I wanted to edit this in but since I'm late I'll do it here : I could very well be in the wrong with my stance on addiction as a term. Perhaps it is akin to me downplaying feminist or trans causes as a male (it's not something I do, just an example) to say we shouldn't reserve the term for worst cases. I say that from a stance where I think it is a prevalent problem in our society and we should be able to address it without tip-toeing around terminology. We should be able to talk about things like weed and obsessive phone-scrolling as potentially disruptive issues that can be proper psychological problems (and/or stemming from others like anxiety) which run deeper than mere bad habits.
And thanks for your kind offer.
Curious to know what you mean by this. Are you literally asking that people say/write "trigger warning" (or something to that effect) before a certain word is used in an upcoming sentence or do you mean something else?
Chemically dependent works in a lot of ways IMHO.
but I guess you could argue that ones porn addiction messes with your neuro-transmitters & dopamine, gaba, whatever too.
Plus you're right that with poly drug dependency a lot of times there are other real mental health issues at play, many requiring medicine to treat both the chemical dependency and underlying problems.
To me too it's kind of a bit of trigger when people over exaggerate and self diagnose their 'serious' starbucks addiction lol as a joking example.
not sure trigger is the word, but like more like a sigh when you have a life experience more similar to what you describe.
like when a reddit thread gets literally 80% of people commenting they have self diagnosed adhd or ocd compulsions whatever. slaps face.
When you started, why was it enjoyable? Be specific.
Many attempts at addressing addictive behavior focus on stopping the behavior. If there was something specific the behavior initially improved, that has to be addressed or you're unlikely to succeed.
E.g.: if drinking initially improved anxiety issues, those will still be there while the person is trying to quit.
So it helps if you keep in mind activities that are acceptable and ones that are not.
A lot of the 'good habits', moved to screen time: I used to read more news papers, magazines and books, and most of that turned into screen time. Online discussion is also a useful way to spend time I think (with the right audience, such as some of HN).
I wouldn't put screen time due to curiosity for information on the same level as bad addictions, such as smoking (hurting health) or gambling (hurting the wallet).
www.youtube.com###secondary
www.youtube.com##ytd-browse[page-subtype="home"] #primary
www.youtube.com##.ytp-show-tiles.ytp-endscreen-paginate.videowall-endscreen.ytp-player-content.html5-endscreenBecause of this, I don’t see reading a book on a phone as equivalent to a paper book, or reading news online as a equivalent to a newspaper. The content your brain is processing may be the same, but it has a very different impact on your body and mental state, especially at night. So I think it’s wise to differentiate screen vs. non-screen activities and be more careful about doing the former in moderation, or perhaps only early in the day.
I highly recommend How We Change [0]. It was the first book in my long journey of trying to "read my self out of my depression" that was really insightful. It lays out why people choose to not change (tethered by their procrastination or other habits they deem to be fruitless), and only by seeing and appreciating that _fear of hope_ can you start to approach the (at times) extremely difficult task of authoring your life.
[0] https://www.harpercollins.com/products/how-we-change-ross-el...
Mindfulness sadly isn’t the big aha! moment. I know I was addicted. I know I wanted to change. This is why they say “admitting you have a problem” is the first step.
It’s not a matter of knowing you’re addicted and then suddenly stopping. That can happen, but more likely an incremental approach will happen. B.J. Fogg’s book about tiny habits talks about this epiphany moment being quite rare.
Only a couple times in my life have I had this epiphany moment and went cold turkey overnight. Once when I was larger and struggling to hike with friends like I used to. Another when I was playing video games and felt deja vu that made me feel like I wasted years of my life. Now, I’m in the best shape of my life and work on things I’m passionate about in my free time.
Taking away the substance doesn't cure the root pain. Truly quitting addiction means addressing the room cause(s).
The thing for me that allowed me to give up was realising and convincing myself that it was possible for the cravings to go away, to feel normal in a pub without smoking etc.
It seemed impossible at some point so I always went back to it before.
Of course it really wasn't easy but that mindset let me not give in to the cravings. I do think when you internalize quitting as something that is super difficult it just gives ammunition for all those mind games to give in.
I was also watching this Navy SEAL buds training at the time and the one guy Travis Lively was using that strategy. Convincing himself that Navy SEAL hell week was really not that bad. I love that guy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVxhm7jkN0k
Patches, gums, sprays (throat one, nasal one), cold turkey, herbal cigs, gamification, the little ball pellet things that were briefly on the market as a better gum alternative in the early 2000s, electric cig (not the modern e-cigs, the early 2000’s terrible ones), having a quit buddy, joining an nhs smoking cessation group…
I was not playing at giving up. I was latching on to anything that I’d heard worked for someone. I was distraught mentally. To top it all off, i couldn’t actually afford smoking as a student, i was accruing debt.
The only 2 things i refused to try were a “stupid” book (easyway by allen carr) - how dumb do you have to be to let a book reprogram your mind, I’m too smart for that. Also i avoided hypnotherapy for the same reason.
I finally read that book. I quit smoking (easily) before the half way mark in the book. No will power, nothing. I was just a non smoker now.
I don’t smoke, i don’t think about it ever, it doesn’t bother me to be near smokers, there’s no triggers i have to avoid etc etc im just a plain non smoker.
That book uses the same approach laid out at the start of this article.
Why they don’t just give out copies of easyway on the health service I don’t know, sure worked for everyone I know who has used it.
It simply points out that how we frame, and experience, our own motivations for quitting can be more or less helpful.
I think anything mentally difficult is going to work better if we take into account our subconscious as a first class partner. Our subconscious responds very strongly to how we perceive tasks and challenges. It can carry us through tough situations, but is very hard to work against.
Sometimes subtle, almost nonsensical things from a purely rational point of view, really help.
Don’t mistake a ‘here’s the trick’ with ‘it’s so easy’, the article wasn’t claiming it’s easy. And don’t take advice as a personal affront.
The true and valid point this article is making is that changing a behavior is a mental game you play with your mind, not a physical one, and that “willpower” and “discipline” doesn’t work before fully convincing yourself of your goals. You have to figure out how to truly convince yourself the old behavior isn’t what you want, and the new behavior is your goal. Not in a contradicting yourself kind of way, but in a deep and true believe it with your whole body way. I think you’re actually making the exact same point underneath your disagreement, that focusing on quitting is too hard, and there’s more to it.
I wouldn’t generalise on such things though, everyone is different.
I have a friend who left his toxic wife. Immediately after that he quit smoking cold turkey without even trying. He said that with his ex-wife out of his life he just didn't feel like he needed to smoke anymore.
Myself - I don't find caffeine addictive in any way.
Only the realisation and choice is definitive. Thats the quit. There is no try. I decided to quit once.
If your quit failed, you just didnt fully realise yet.
But I think there is a big distinction between chemical dependency and other compulsions or addictive behaviors.
And I think the word addiction itself has been kind of coopted by self diagnosing people on the internet for karma and some odd type of self gratitude, if that makes sense; kind of a weird bragging about your supposed addiction to ____ or OCD or ADHD etc.
The author writes "It’s about seeing through the illusion of satisfaction. It’s about realizing you don’t want to be doing it anymore."
Most users don't want to be addicts. Almost no one wants to be dependent on opiates or to have the shakes every morning. Anyone that does hasn't been using long enough yet or probably has other mental health issues that they are trying to patch over themselves with drugs.
We know the satisfaction or other benefits one initially gets from using eventually gets buried deep by all the negatives.
With drugs and alcohol the satisfaction becomes less and less, even when you use more and more.
Drugs are fun & feel good after all. they can 'fix' a huge array of problems in your life.
Until they don't.
Props to anyone who can overcome a chemical dependency on willpower alone and through this type of CBT mental reframing the author talks about.
But for almost all users, especially many of those with untreated underlying issues, it's basically impossible without science based, often medicine supported treatment.
Another book I think is worth reading for a dumbed down summary of addiction is Never Enough: The Neuroscience and Experience of Addiction
Article's solution: Don't be a dipole.
I believe Ben Affleck of all people nailed it on his recent Howard Stern appearance. The cure for addiction is suffering.
After some failed attempts I quit smoking 7 months a go and this change in the way of thinking made the difference for me. During the failed attempts I used to repeat to myself "I can't smoke", this last time my thought was more like "I don't want to smoke", I didn't even tell to my wife that I was trying to quit so that I would fell less the pressure of being forbidden to smoke. Somehow it worked better for me and whenever I had cravings my thoughts were usually something like "I could smoke if I wanted to, I'm 5 minutes away from a pack of cigarets, but I don't want."
I'm not saying that this was the only factor that made me stop or this is the "secret to quit smoking" or that's easy, it just worked better for me.
The insight is also to use mindfulness to understand the "true" experience of the addictive behavior and come to internalize that it is no longer valuable.
Ezra Klein has a nice interview on the subject: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/that-anxiety-youre-fee...
Goos tip is to find replacemet, a healthy one. You can get addicted to gentle (not stupid) weight lifting, running (please, on grass, not on cement or next to road full of cars, not on asfalt, its not good for your knees and lungs) reading a book.
Replace it with hobby that you like or put that time into something you wanted to do, but never had time.
I framed it as, “I just don’t want to eat that garbage anymore.” Two weeks of cravings and then I just stopped missing it. Fruit started to taste amazing.
Triglycerides went from 263 to 113 in one year.
You are bored, so you automatically get up and walk like a zombie to the fridge to inspect it, for example.
On tech, usenet has good newsgroups, such as comp.misc. By pulling articles once a web, you'll get sorted.
Fortunately, most of the people discussing it here seem to recognize that. A few of them prefaced their comments as a result. And I don’t see anyone disagreeing that bad habits and serious addiction are different problems.
As a result, the discussion has been helpful to me rather than aggravating.