The level of pessimism here seems a bit gratuitous. Working with my partner worked well for me, but I've seen people in similar situations achieve a lot of success through participating in supportive online communities (e.g. a Slack group for alumni of a coding bootcamp), or coworking with friends (whether or not everybody is working on the same stuff). Therapy can also be helpful, both in addressing the roots of the problem and in providing some external accountability. And there are doubtless many other options if you look around a little.

i read an article about how we should all form squads, that is turn your main memetic friendgroup into a economical and carework selfhelp squad... or something, i have since lost the link to the article though...

nah. you can have non-romantic accountability partners.

in fact, i'd say it's more the norm than the exception. (and often sort of emergent and far from the phrase "accountability partner", which is a bit formal)