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>but it seriously bums me out

Talk to your manager. If you don't have 1:1s, ask to have routine meetings. If your manager can't help you, alleviate your stress, or guide you forward, look for a new job.

It's hard to really say anecdotally if things were fair or unfair, but your manager's job is to help you (and selfishly, for you, they should help you grow in your career).

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Yes, you should be able to tell your direct manager basically what you told us. Copy and paste into an email if that’s easier. (Your tone here is fine.)

It does sound like your manager’s manager has poor people skills / favors a more confrontational management style. If you have a good direct manager that can be tolerable, up to you to decide how much it bothers you.

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