Show HN: My first landing page ever created for a mobile app. Feedback?
grooovy.me
grooovy.me
The sun’s rising. The air is silent except for the low monotonous hum of the laptop and occasional chirping of the birds. You lean back into your chair; life is great. Glancing across the empty room, you spot your phone underneath the bed. You check your phone for missed messages but there are none. Something is amiss. It takes a while but you realize it- you’re feeling pretty lonely.*
Terrible. Who is your target audience? Forever alone meme?
[1] http://www.google.com/webfonts# [2] http://typekit.com/ [3] http://blog.grooovy.me/69425327
Fix your page, and your copy.
I'm really not sure what it's about? I gather it's something to do with meeting people but really I think I need a bit more than that.
And I'm not really sure I like the wording of the main tagline, something like "Helping you connect with people outside of work and school" would be better, for me anyway.
Oh and the link saying "Read full post here" doesn't seem to link to anything meaningful.
Social media links should be at the bottom of the page. They are a type of call-to-action and having folks click on them is a type of conversion. Ask them to make that decision after figuring out what your app is about.
I like the layout of the product shot on the left, but the scaling is all wrong. It looks blurry.
Your tagline should give people a general idea of what your app does.
Clicking a link to a blog article should not be the main conversion on this page. I also shouldn't have to read the blog article to understand what your app does. Instead, this page should have already taught me as much as I need to know about your app to determine whether I want to keep updated on it's progress. If I do, you should be taking my email address at this point.
After reading all the copy on the page, I still don't have any idea what the app does.
I hope that helps. :)
I'll look into the social media links and rearrange the layout a little better.
I'm relatively new at photoshop so didn't know how to tilt the image the same way as the iphone template. I'll just use a normal iphone image instead of trying to tilt it.
I've changed the tagline to "Connecting at your own pace" by your recommendation-thanks
I agree that the link to the blog article shouldn't be the main convo on this page. I'll change it out and clarify what the app really does.
Quick comments on the landing page: in terms of SEO, it needs a lot of work. Your page title doesn't include any relevant keywords, and there is zero indexable content on the page - all the text is in images, which don't even have alt text. For a couple of quick wins, do some keyword research around your subject (use the Google Keyword Tool to find some relevant keywords with low comp / relatively ok volume) and use these in your title and page content (alt tags, if you don't want to change the page).
EDIT: Also, put Google Analytics on there, so that you can start to collect data ASAP on where your potential customers are coming from.
EDIT 2: You might want to distill the app idea down to a few key benefits on the landing page. As an example, take a look at what we did with our Mingle iPhone app: http://getmingle.com/
Also, I'm not sure what problem I have meeting people outside of school/work. What is the specific problem that you're trying to address? Also, you probably don't want to advertise that you haven't solved the problem yet.
EDIT: grammar & last sentence
It's obvious what problem your app is trying to solve, but it's not very clear how. The blog doesn't help in explaining this at all. The landing page is interesting and nice-looking, but it could do with some more explanation ("it's X for Y!" wouldn't hurt)
Also, after reading the entire page, I still don't know what this app does / is supposed to do. You need more information on this page (not just a link to a post).
Edit: clicking through to the blog still gives me nothing. I clicked with the intent of "what is this app?" and got "THE VIRAL EXPERIMENT. FREE SUSHI DINNER FOR 2 #GRUBWITHUS IN SF 9/12".
Confusing.