Nerd culture idolizes the hyper focused and dedicated social maladept. That predates the common recognition of autism as a spectrum, but it fit into the stereotype.

That hero worship tells people that they're better programmers if they reject everything else. Not only is it not true, it's counterproductive.

Autism may be overrepresented among computer people but it's still rare. What's more common, I think, is neurotypical people trying to act autistic and failing.

Autistics do indeed need a different approach to a lot of things, but what most nerds need is to think of themselves as people who are fortunate to have a skill set that is well compensated even without being the 100x programmer who sleeps under his desk and eats only Soylent. That gives us the freedom to be interested in life outside of computers and jobs.

That's not easy when you have to see outside a culture that emulates a few highly successful individuals. Or worse, emulate the myth of their public persona without actually knowing their real lives.

The trick, I would say, is to stop telling each other that we're so different from other people, and that this is necessary to be good at our jobs.