I see many posts here mentioning the Bible.

If you've struggled to get into the Bible before, consider reading the NLT translation.

Read it slow. Maybe one chapter a day. (They're very short chapters.) It will take you a few years at that rate.

Start from the beginning. Read it in order.

NLT can be read online:

https://biblehub.com/nlt/genesis/1.htm

Don't let anyone tell you what it means. No church, priest, or pastor has a monopoly on these teachings. It's your journey.

If you don't feel comfortable going to a church, don't feel pressured to. If you ever sit down with even just one person to discuss your feelings on the Bible, then that is a church.