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Comment by dpcan | Hacker News Reader

"[..] we were really feeling the pressure to start making money, particularly since all our friends had found jobs and were earning a good income. The social stigma surrounding being 'unemployed' really sucked [...]"

Their motivation to make money was social? Their friends had jobs so they felt inadequate?

I've never heard that one before.

I guess it's been a LONG time since I first forged out on my own, but every year I take on new risks and search for new opportunities, and never do I think, gosh, what will my friends think?

I'm not sure if this is somewhat off topic, or if I'm asking if this is a common way of thinking, but I'm a little shocked that one entrepreneur's drive to make money was only because their friends were earning good salaries.

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I understand it perfectly - if my friends could all afford to go out and have a pint on the weekend, go on a road trip, vacation, etc. and I was excluded because I couldn't afford it then it would be upsetting to me, and motivate me to earn a better income. That being said, people typically associate with people in their economic class to avoid those types of issues, so I'd assume if they weren't motivated the friends would eventually fade out (to an extent of course)

As I thought about it a little more, I came to this conclusion as well. It could just be a young single-person's motivation, certainly.

I had kids before I even had a chance to know what it was like to be a young single guy out of college, and I started my company when my first son was 1, and my motivation was to be a success in his eyes at the time. Still is. I started developing games because I wanted my kids to see that no matter how far-fetched it may seem, go after your dreams, succeed on your own terms.

But I can see how having money for beer might have been a motivating force when I was 21 and if I had no children at the time.

EDIT: I'm being sincere. That read-back as dickish, but I'm serious. I'm far removed from that world, but I respect anyone's motivation for becoming a success on their own terms, I just don't always grasp it right away.

Certainly is tough to measure success, but I don't think it is just a young person attitude (that being said, I'm a fairly young person). I think I'd rather make sure that my son/family was financially stable then be successful in his eyes... I figure take the biggest risks when you are young, prior to the family/mortgage/etc. I couldn't imagine risking it all when I was primarily supporting others.

Just different ways of looking at it

It's not so much that we felt pressurised by our friends, but more to do with the fact that we were disappointed in failing to live up to our OWN expectations. Simply put, we graduated from two of the best Universities in London, and here we were, earning $15 a day (split two ways!). Financially, this was wrecking us. It wasn't about bragging rights or earning more than our friends, we loved what we were doing and had foregone great salaries to live out our dream - but not earning enough to even buy a week's worth of groceries scared the crap out of us.

Sadly, quite often, people here in London seldom respect you when you say you're running a startup, thinking you're probably just unemployed and can't find a proper job.

I guess in the end, the fact that we couldn't contemplate failing really pushed us to devise innovative strategies to succeed on the App Store with very little money (we'll explain this in detail in part 3).

If you can't afford Nice Things and all your friends can, you're going to feel out of place. Maybe not because they have a 52" TV and you don't, but what about when you are wearing faded holey clothes from 10 years ago and all your friends are in polos and slacks?

Even if you are totally blind to attire, there are plenty of things. They are small, subtle and additive.

I would even be willing to bet the perceived stigma was partly self-inflicted. It can be hard not to feel like a failure when your friends are doing well and you're still broke.

On one hand, I completely agree with you. I feel a large part of the success and achievement in my life is due to the fact that I am self-motivated and couldn't care less what my friends think. All I care is how I feel about what I'm doing.

That said, there's an old adage that does tend to hold true, which is that your salary is almost certainly going to be an average of the five people you commiserate with the most. Look around. The people you work with/hang out with/have a beer with...how much do they make? Is it close to what you make?

It almost certainly is. In fact, in my own life I can recall many great pals that I used to talk to all of the time that I haven't spoken to in years. I'm not better than they are, and I certainly liked being their friend, but somewhere along the way I started taking a different path, and slowly started making more money than they did. A lot more.

If everyone in our circle is working hard to get ahead, then chances are, we will be even more inclined to do so.

It's peer pressure. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peer_pressure

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