If I wanted to live in the city I would. I don’t want to bring these “urban values” to my neighborhood. I want to put all my groceries in the trunk of my minivan, not make 10 bike rides back and forth. I’m in my mid 40s and my knees can’t handle that.
I don’t want to step over puddles of vomit and hypodermic needles. I like my functioning police department. I have no interest in the way you live.
There is nothing fundamentally incompatible about picking up your groceries with a minivan and later biking to a coffee shop or a local park. Local governments just don't seem to make the ability for people to do so a priority when developing their municipality.
I live in a city and do not deal with any of these things. Have you considered your impression of "urban values" may not match reality?
> I like my functioning police department. I have no interest in the way you live.
The police in the suburbs may be less 'functioning' than in urban areas:
* https://www.axios.com/report-suburbs-arrest-rates-surpass-ur...
AMA
Then you shouldn't mind if other people chose to live differently ( without any of the ridiculously exaggerated downsides you mention). But the problem is that due to zoning laws, buildings densely or anything else other than sparse suburbia is just impossible in the US. People like you shouldn't force everyone else to live in a thoroughly unsustainable manner, subsidised by everyone else.
Many people in urban centers read impressions like this and think the person that holds/writes them is describing something from another planet.