I know a number of couples that got together through work
When you spend so much time at work it's no surprise that interactions that could lead to relationships happen at those hours.
Of course I'm not advocating for sexual harassment in any way. I think that the immaturity usually happens as the inability to accept a negative answer and back off
I mean I might be totally wrong and the US is much more puritan than I think it to be, but here in Europe, people usually first start doing the fun things and then later figure out if their character and life situation is compatible for a long-term relationship.
Let's be decisive about this. Yes, it is weird, and not just weird, also unethical, even if your job takes all your time, leaving no time for social life, and you're really really lonely, or you really really like someone, it is still weird. It is saying, "I work here, so I am entitled to engage in activity for which I was not hired, has nothing whatsoever to do with the work yet I will be paid while I do it because I do it on company time, as well as, at the very least distracting, if not disturbing, harassing, and threatening coworkers."
That said, it is also a really bad idea if you care about the job, but I expect anyone who engages in that activity could not care less about the job. There is an idiom that applies here, "don't shit where you eat."
now obviously, offices aren't purely social spaces, you are there to get work done. but what kind of office do you work at where nobody interacts in any way that isn't 100% related to accomplishing work tasks? what makes seeking out a romantic partner at work "weird" compared to seeking out a friendship? (assuming rejection, etc. is handled gracefully—obviously, there's always risk in asking someone out.)
(disclaimer: met my wife-to-be at work. (disclaimer: said work was at Walmart, between programming jobs.))
I think one of Kant's categorical imperatives may make this clearer: "act only in accordance with that maxim through which you can at the same time will that it become a universal law.”
Imagine you have 100 employees working for you and your business is competitive. How many coupled romances initiated among them while at work would you tolerate on your dime? If your answer is not "50," then we have a problem, whether it is psychological egoism, narcissism, or just run-of-the-mill hypocrisy. And if your answer is "50," it is likely your business won't be able to compete for tolerating your employees screwing around at work, because you're just paying them not to work. I doubt that could be profitable.
where does this idea you have that when you clock in for the day, you somehow shed your humanity and become a personality-less labor-husk, for the duration of the day, until clock-out time, come from? I have made tons of friends at work, both from doing work with them and shooting the shit in-between. this is how my wife-to-be and I met, by doing work together, chatting all the while, and realizing we shared a lot of values and that we should probably be dating. I have never been in a work environment where something like this was explicitly nor implicitly forbidden, because that would be an insane job for crazy people. your perspective is entirely foreign to me, and, judging by my above post's score, many other people as well.
And refraining from romantic pursuit while working does not remotely remove one's humanity. It is simply maturity that permits restraint. In fact, humanity requires empathy. Try to empathize with someone who is trying to work. Let's say you're trying to work, and someone you must work closely with is making advances towards you and you're not interested. Does that make work a lot easier? Imagine the same situation, but your advances are not wanted... still have to work with them, but now it is going to be far less comfortable.
If you can't see how insane it would be if everyone behaved this way, I just don't know how to persuade you that it is wrong. Because if it is wrong for everyone to behave this way, it is wrong for a single individual to behave this way.
It takes some social awareness to know when it's appropriate and when it isn't. A lot of people lack that level of social awareness and for them the best plan is to avoid such situations.
But it's still common, and it's still not weird.
I suppose if your office romance doesn't work out, you're perfectly comfortable with that outcome and move on to other coworkers like the office is your personal brunch buffet. You can meet people pretty much anywhere, but the one place that it is tasteless to romantically socialize is the place you are being paid to work. You see, normal mentally healthy people don't need to find romance at work, though they're socially aware enough to do so, they simply don't need to because they probably don't have such minuscule prospects. Mentally healthy individuals will not, by and large, need to take advantage of having such a captive audience as a colleague or coworker or staff that is stuck at work, working. What is far more prevalent, thank goodness, is that most don't treat their boss's office like a singles bar. In all honesty, your post is the creepiest thing I've read all week. What if what you interpret as social awareness is instead a deficit of self-awareness or oblivion? Because if you behave this way, you are completely unaware of or simply do not care how others feel. It's probably the former, which you probably hide with the latter. You don't know, so you you'll tend to say you don't care.
Other behavior that is not OK? Even when you're not working, it's really not ok to try to romance someone who is working. People do it, but it sucks. Even a little harmless flirting with a cashier you think is cute is less than ideal behavior. I refer again to the captive audience part. Try romancing someone who can get away from you, if they wish, without jeopardizing their job.
Like at a bar. Can you find romance in a bar or singles mixer instead? Because I guarantee you any innocent bystanders to your romantic prowess would prefer it occured anywhere but where they work. But you would know that if you're socially aware.
That said, it is also a really bad idea if you care about the job, but I expect anyone who engages in that activity could not care less about the job. There is an idiom that applies here, "don't shit where you eat."
Weird is a poor descriptor. In the case of entitlement to take time on your employer's clock to engage in activity for which you were not hired to perform is simply and unabashedly unethical. It is stealing, no matter how many do it, it is still stealing.
But there is another angle that also makes it unethical, and that is that your romantic focus at work is necessarily a captive of their workplace. It would be different under different circumstances, such as meeting someone at a social gathering and turning on the charm for romantic interest, because they're not going to lose their job nor create a toxic work environment should they rebuff your advances. When you target a romantic interest in the workplace, you are taking advantage of the others' inability to choose not to be romanced.
Is it imperative to you that you be permitted indulge your entitlement to behave this way at work? Can't you do it instead somewhere, anywhere else?
It may be a lot of things—including ill-advised—but it's not weird.
This sounds like nitpicking but it isn't. People use "advances" and "harassment" as synonyms. They should not be.
I'm not just talking about disrespect. Disrespect is bad in almost almost all contexts.
Because, I have to be clear: Asking someone on a date is a sexual advance.
If you see someone who's attractive and you managed to strike up a few conversations with them and it seems that they like you, then I'd say that asking them out is a perfectly reasonable thing to do.
The variation I am more familiar with is going around a party and telling people strangers you have a condom that is going to expire and you don't want to waste it. I know a few people who have gotten laid this way.
Not all environments are safe spaces where sexual advances are inappropriate, nor should they be. People should however be polite and take no for an answer.
(Used to be for the 1970s generation, now it's "through friends" and then "at work")
https://www.bustle.com/p/the-most-popular-ways-people-are-me...
FWIW, I'm not commenting on this article where there's no respect for boundaries and dismissive HR, but the blanket statement.
0: https://web.stanford.edu/~mrosenfe/Rosenfeld_et_al_Disinterm...
My sister met both her current and former partner at work. It's more common than it might seem.
Then, there is this arbitrary line in the sand between work and things like volunteering.
I have a well paying job as a swe for a company. I also volunteer for my sailing clubs for various things. I get paid in both cases. For my swe job via moneis and other perks. For my sailing clubs by providing some services today, so someone else can go sailing and they'll do the same next week. Still work, different pay.