> No "proper programming language" is capable of ergonomically piping between programs.

Solved. https://github.com/ngs-lang/ngs

I'm the author. Frustrated with exactly this situation I created Next Generation Shell. It's a "proper programming language" on one hand but domain-specific for "DevOps"y scripting on another. So sane syntax, data structures, error handling, multiple dispatch on one hand but also syntax for running external programs, pipes and redirects.

You are welcome!